


When We're Past Breaking

by kj_feybarn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2018-10-02 02:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10207757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kj_feybarn/pseuds/kj_feybarn
Summary: Obi-Wan's absence had always been a crucial element in Anakin's fall. The moment Obi-Wan enters the Supreme Chancellor's office the Sith Lord's plan fell apart.The war that has torn the Galaxy apart is over. But the scars of the War are ever present. Surviving during the war meant more than just fighting Sith Lords and battle droids, it meant fighting daily for hope, for strength, for the ability to endure. Surviving the aftermath should be easier. But it isn't always. Obi-Wan has felt broken for a long time, but he's never had the chance to actually break.Somehow healing one man can lead to healing so much more.





	1. When There is Nothing Left to Push For (You Sometimes Get a Little Push)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, crossing my fingers and hoping that this turns out okay. I've got plans. Unfortunately they are neither major plans nor evil plans, which are my two favorite types of plans, but they are nonetheless plans.  
> But really we're just going to hope that this turns out okay. Alright... Uh, just kind of read the story? Enjoy the story?   
> Oh yes, and have a glorious day (Or night... or you know, life, just let everything be glorious for you).

“I think I’d like to go drink a bit of tea.” The words fell out of his mouth with no warning, startling him. He hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, didn’t even really remember thinking them. But then he was tired, or rather, more tired than he usually allowed himself to feel.

Mace looked up at him from the datapad Mace was working on and then down at the cold cup of tea sitting next to Obi-Wan’s datapad. Mace’s face was deadpan, a single eyebrow raised, “Really?”

Obi-Wan pushed the cup of tea to the side. “You and I both know that the tea they serve in the commissary barely reaches the standards of acceptability. It’s hardly something any civilized person would drink for pleasure.”

Mace just quirked his eyebrow again, “Ah, yes. I had almost forgotten that you were trained by the tea aficionado himself. Qui-Gon was always quite particular about his teas.”

Obi-Wan shrugged, “Say what you will about Qui-Gon.” 

“Oh, I will.”

Obi-Wan ignored his fellow Council Member. “But the man had excellent taste in tea.”

“Either that, or you learned to adapt in order to survive his regular attempts at poisoning you with terrible leaf water.”

Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose, “I’ll have you know, that I have some excellent blends. I dare say even someone with as limited taste as you would enjoy them.”

“Of course.” Mace said agreeably, “And were they good enough to convince your former padawan?”

“Anakin’s taste is even worse than yours.”

“Undoubtedly.” Mace gave him an understanding look. “But you do deserve to go and drink your tea.” There was something like concern in the other Jedi’s eyes. “I would have hoped that with the war over you’d actually get more sleep.”

“Mace, my friend, I’m not sure I remember what it means to sleep.” The statement had far more truth than Obi-Wan wanted to admit, he shrugged and shifted the conversation away from his sleeping habits, “And we’ve been busy.”

“None more than you, though.” Mace sighed, “You and Plo worked hard to get the clones citizenship. And now the both of you are working to get them places to live, getting building permission here on Coruscant, refurbishing empty rooms here in the temple. You and Master Yoda have both been dedicating your time to helping the padawans who have lost their Masters in the war. You’ve been working with me,” here he gestured to the datapads, “to keep the Senate happy by filling out any number of forms in triplicate. You’ve also been staying at Senator Amidala’s apartment nearly every night helping with the twins.” And here Mace’s face twisted into something frustrated, Obi-Wan knew that Anakin and Padme’s marriage was still a sore spot with the Council. So far no action had been taken, but Obi-Wan suspected that that had more to do with the fact that there were more important things for the Council to be worrying about at the moment than the fact that the Council was fine with the situation. “And if Plo is correct, which he most often is, you’ve also managed to find Miss Tano and arranged for her to meet Skywalker on Naboo, where he, his family, the 212th and the 501st are all taking their leave.”

“They were all things that needed to be done.”

Mace gave him a considering look, but nodded. “True, but no one on the Council would have denied you an opportunity to take leave with your men. Plo will take time with his men, I’ll be taking time with my own men.”

Obi-Wan tried to smile, but he had the feeling that Mace saw right through it. “Some of my men need time and space away from me.”

“You mean your Commander.”

“Commander Cody has his reasons.” Obi-Wan reminded Mace quietly.

Mace nodded. “No, I know. But, the fact remains, you deserve a break just as much as any other Jedi.”

“As do you.” Obi-Wan noted, “You are more than welcome to join me for some tea.” He gave the other Jedi a serious look, “I have some wonderful blends that have hardly been touched the past three years, perhaps I’ll be able to convert you.”

Mace laughed, “Unlikely, however…” He glared at the datapad, “Even leaf water would be preferable to this current batch of reports.” He grimaced in distaste, “I would’ve thought that with all the effort you and Plo put into getting the building permits there would be fewer reports, not more.”

“On Coruscant?” Obi-Wan snorted, “We’re lucky that the entirety of the Senate is feeling grateful for us at the moment, otherwise we’d be drowning in red tape.”

“I know. I know.” Mace waved him away, “Now go make us some tea. I’ll join you as soon as I’ve finished this report.”

Obi-Wan nodded and titled his head in a small bow. “In that case, I’ll see you soon.”

He turned away, making his way out of the commissary and towards his quarters. His step came a little slower than normal, the exhaustion weighing on him. It was almost strange how much harder it was to keep the exhaustion at bay now that they were at peace. Being a General and a Council Member as well as a member of the famed ‘team’ meant that he’d never really had the opportunity to stop and rest. And for all of Obi-Wan’s failures, he would hope that he would never given anything less than his all. That didn’t stop with the end of the war. No, there was still so much to do, so much to put right, to fix, to change. He couldn’t stop. There was no other option other than to keep going.

He closed his eyes and stopped walking as a wave of dizziness hit him.

He was so tired. He wished he could sleep. But his dreams had been plagued with foreboding shadows every time he so much as closed his eyes. He could still remember the last days of the war with crystal clarity. He remembered running through the Senate building, the force howling in his ears, pushing his steps faster, faster, faster. 

The sight of Mace standing over Palpatine, his lightsaber ready to strike as Anakin stood to the side was forever seared into his mind. That one moment had stretched into eternity for Obi-Wan as Mace and Palpatine both plead with Anakin. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but in that moment Obi-Wan had seen a diverging of paths.

The nightmares that had greeted him the few times he’d managed to fall asleep were of burning temples, dying Jedi, and the eyes of his former Padawan a gleaming yellow. If he was lucky he would wake up, if he wasn’t the nightmare only got worse.

He had yet to speak with anyone about what he’d seen, what he was still seeing. No one on the Council seemed to have seen anything, and while they had spoken at length of the terrors that Palpatine could have inflicted, none of them seemed to truly understand the scope of the destruction. None of them understood that not even the younglings would have been spared the wrath of Sidious and his new apprentice. That the entire Republic would have fallen away, that an Empire would have risen from it’s ashes. Obi-Wan found he couldn’t tell them. 

Nor could he speak to Anakin of what he’d seen. He didn’t want Anakin to know that Obi-Wan truly feared how close Anakin had come to falling. Did not want Anakin to know that Obi-Wan was still afraid of the type of anger and hatred he saw in his dreams, the anger and hatred he had never truly realized his padawan was capable of.

The wave of dizziness passed and Obi-Wan moved forward again, if possible his steps even slower than they’d been before. Force, he was so tired. He tightened his robes around him. Trying to keep out the chill that was less due to the temperature and more due to the ache in his heart, the clamminess that seemed to coat his skin whenever he allowed himself to think beyond the moment of ‘go, go, go!’ that had been his mantra for so many years.

He entered his quarters still moving slowly. He leaned back against the door, staring blankly at the rooms. He laughed a little. A short, dry rasp. They were barren. One or two boxes opened, the rest still neatly stacked against the wall, still neatly labeled from three years ago when he’d placed them there, after having left his old quarters for Anakin once Anakin had taken Ahsoka as his padawan. At the time he had naively thought that the war would end soon and he’d be able to make the rooms comfortable. But the war hadn’t ended, and Obi-Wan had spent the majority of his time on the front lines. What time he did have on Coruscant was full of meetings and planning sessions and paperwork, the time and energy that he would have needed to unpack had never become a reality. 

Perhaps, had the shock of Palpatine’s betrayal not sent Padme into labor, Obi-Wan would have found the time after the end of the war. But instead Obi-Wan had found himself in the Senator’s household, doing just as much to keep Anakin and Padme from crying as he did the infant twins. Neither Padme or Anakin had seemed to realize just how stressful parenthood was. Or how hard it was to actually live with one’s spouse for longer than the few days at a time they’d been able to steal during the war.

Both Padme and Anakin were lucky that Obi-Wan already loved the twins. Luke and Leia were actually much easier to deal with than their parents. Despite that, he was more than willing to let Padme’s parents take the next shift in helping the new parents adjust.

He rubbed his face tiredly, noting distantly that he really needed to trim his beard.

He hoped that things would go well for them on Naboo. There was a part of him that wished that he’d been able to join them. But he couldn’t in good conscience leave the rest of the Council to deal with the chaos the war had left behind. Nor could he bear to face the pained expression on Cody’s face whenever the other man saw him.

No, his men needed time, time to be men and not soldiers. Time to figure out what their new lives could be without having their General looking over their shoulders. He couldn’t help but wonder where they’d all go, now that they were free to go anywhere. He tried not to think too much about it, the 212th had been with Obi-Wan for so long, it was difficult to imagine not having them near now. And while perhaps he did not have the same relationship with the 501st, he had spent a great deal of time with them as well, cared for them the same way he cared for his own men.

And perhaps, Obi-Wan could admit to himself, it was for the best. Obi-Wan needed this time away as well. The dreams had started to follow him into reality. Too often he thought he glimpsed yellow in Anakin’s eyes. Thought he saw blank unawareness in the eyes of his men, a quiet whisper of ‘Execute Order 66’ following behind them, echoing through Obi-Wan’s mind like a threat. Thought he saw Padme’s face white and pale as death, gone the way Anakin had screamed she would be if Anakin didn’t save her. Sometimes he thought he saw bodies on the floor and the screams of dying Jedi.

No, perhaps it was for the best that he have space as well. He needed time to find his equilibrium before Anakin returned to Coruscant. He needed time to put the visions and dreams behind him. There was too much to do for Obi-Wan to let this overwhelm him. The galaxy was in turmoil and they all needed to give their best to help heal it.

Except, if Obi-Wan was completely honest, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do that anymore. He wasn’t sure he remembered what it was like to be a Jedi and not a solider and General anymore. He couldn’t quite remember what peace felt like.

Yoda, he knew, was hoping that Obi-Wan would take a new padawan. There were so many padawans who had lost their masters, and so many initiates that would need to be trained.

But the very idea of taking a padawan left Obi-Wan exhausted. It wasn’t that he did not care for the padawans and initiates, he hoped one day to take another padawan. But not now, not yet. Not when his last attempt at taking a padawan had been so firmly rebuffed. Not when the rawness of his failure with Anakin was still so fresh. Not when Obi-Wan didn’t understand where he had gone so wrong.

When he had learned what peace felt like, when he had found a center again. Maybe then he could try again. But not now. He couldn’t do it. Not yet.

No initiate deserved to have to put up with him as a Master. He was falling apart at the seams, and he would not use a padawan to put himself back together. There were certain mistakes from Obi-Wan’s own past that Obi-Wan would do his best not to repeat.

He just didn’t know what to do.

Tea. He had come here to make tea.

He moved to the kitchen, his steps steadier. It took him a few moments to find where he’d left the kettle and where he’d stored away his tea blends. But soon the water was heating. He looked through the rest of the cupboards and the cooling unit skeptically. Except for a few packages of old crackers, a carton of rotten blue milk, and a few rations his kitchen was rather bare. He had mostly been eating in the commissary or, on good days, at Dex’s, but it was time for him to shift back into a routine that wasn’t entirely run by the war and post-war reparations.

It would probably do him good to have to eat his own cooking again. Even if burnt toast and somewhat runny eggs weren’t the most high end of foods. And it was still parsecs better than eating rations morning, noon, and night.

The water was still heating and Obi-Wan turned away from it. He should probably look at unpacking, but he couldn’t quite muster up the energy for that. Perhaps he could meditate while he waited for the water to heat and for Mace to join him. His head was aching, a deep throb behind his eyes and a pounding at his temples. His heart was beating at a rate he knew was faster than it should be. His hands were shaking and he found himself standing in the middle of the kitchen. It seemed suddenly impossible to take even another step, much less make it to the sitting area. He felt chilled, the clammy feeling from before returning. There was a rushing sound in his ears, loud and overwhelming and strangely preferable to the whispers and screams he couldn’t not hear. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He pulled at the force, trying to bring it to bear on his body, to soothe away the chill and ease the pounding. The force moved over him, through him, a tender whisper, a comforting balm.

It didn’t bring him peace though.

He tried not to feel betrayed.

The force had been his constant ally through the past few years. Giving him the strength he need to push through the exhaustion and pain when his own energy was depleted and his own strength wasn’t enough to keep pressing forward. Why would the force forsake him now?

He could hear the tea kettle whistling, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to move. There was knocking on the door, and in the corner of his mind he registered Mace’s presence within the force, just outside his door.

The whistling and knocking seemed to fill his ears, the pounding in his head grew stronger even as his sight seemed to fade to gray. For a long moment he stood there motionless before his body seemed to give out on him as he crumpled to the floor. Everything hurt, an ache that permeated through his entire body. There was further pain from where his head had hit the floor. His breathing was unsteady, the air seemingly unable to make it’s way through his lungs.

He wondered briefly if he was dying before discarding the question as unimportant. He thought blankly of calling for Mace who he could still feel outside the door, but opening his mouth didn’t produce any sound.

His head felt as though it was splitting in two as his vision started to go dark.

He hoped Mace realized something was wrong. Because Obi-Wan had the feeling that this situation was currently beyond his own abilities to deal with right now.

He thought he heard his door open, thought that perhaps he heard Mace’s footsteps. But it was possible that was all in his mind. 

It was a shame he hadn’t actually had the chance to drink any tea. He thought he might have actually enjoyed having that opportunity. But at least for the moment he didn’t have to decide what to do next, the decision was completely out of his hands.

He reached for the force, letting it lead him into unconsciousness. His last conscious thought was to hope he wouldn’t dream. He had had quite enough of his nightmares, it would be nice for his sleep to be empty. It was likely the closest Obi-Wan would be able to get to peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note-There have been minor changes made to this chapter since it's posting.


	2. All Men Break (Some Just Learn to be Strong Around the Broken Pieces)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry... I meant to post this two Fridays ago... But then I was in Arizona visiting my brother and his family and that didn't happen. And then I meant to post it this past Friday, but my life was an absolute disaster, and it still sort of is. But I've begun recovering from most of what happened this week, so... I can post again. This chapter was going to be longer... But, that also didn't happen. But I shall be more faithful about my updating.

He was frustrated. He was trying not to be, the more rational part of his brain recognized that frustration wouldn't help. It was just that Obi-Wan was ignoring him. And Anakin wasn't an idiot, he knew that he and his Master had some broken trust to work through, and while Obi-Wan certainly wasn't blameless (the whole situation with Hardeen came to mind), Anakin was the one who had been at fault most recently, having come clean about his marriage to Padme. Anakin had also been the one who had been friends with the Sith Lord, had been the one listening to a Sith Lord's seductive promises.

Anakin could still hear Palpatine swearing that he could save Padme. And while he hadn't admitted it to anyone other than himself he had been moments away from doing whatever he had to to make sure that Palpatine stayed alive long enough to do just that. It had been Obi-Wan's voice that had stopped him, over Windu's and Palpatine's yelling, Obi-Wan's quiet but intense voice had reached him. "Anakin, you don't need him." He had looked away from the fight in front of him for only the briefest of moments, and met his Master's eyes.

None of Palpatine's promises would ever be able to reach him the way that that look in Obi-Wan's eyes had. For all that the two of them struggled with each other, for all that they sometimes just didn't understand each other, Anakin had never been able to do anything but trust Obi-Wan when he had the look in his eyes, it was a look that was only ever for Anakin. One that whispered of Padawan and brother. It was a look that told Anakin the things that he sometimes wished Obi-Wan would say. It was a look that meant that it didn't matter what was wrong, or how long the odds were, Obi-Wan would fix it.

Anakin wasn't ashamed to admit that he still thought that Obi-Wan could fix anything.

And Obi-Wan had, Padme was still alive, and the twins were healthy and beautiful and Anakin loved them. It had been something of a relief to finally tell Obi-Wan about his marriage, although after Obi-Wan had helped Padme successfully come through labor, tired and in pain, but alive and still the most beautiful thing Anakin had ever seen, Obi-Wan had given him a tired look and admitted that he had known about Anakin and Padme long before Anakin had ever said anything. It had been a cold shock for Anakin, that for years he had hidden this secret, so sure that he couldn't trust Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan had known. According to Obi-Wan, a person would have to be blind and deaf to not know about Padme and Anakin, and Obi-Wan was neither of those things.

They hadn't talked yet, the only time they had gotten close was when Anakin had asked Obi-Wan if Padme had ever truly been in danger. Obi-Wan had sighed, shaking his head tiredly, and had told Anakin that Padme's greatest danger had been Anakin's own fear. Anakin had almost yelled at him then, but Obi-Wan had been feeding his daughter so that Padme could sleep and Anakin found that he was incapable of being angry with Obi-Wan, not with everything he was doing for him and his family.

But that only brought Anakin back to the fact that he was frustrated with Obi-Wan now. Obi-Wan had promised they would talk once Anakin had returned from leave, and while Anakin had been hurt when Obi-Wan had stopped answering his comms near the end of his time on Naboo, he had reassured himself that Obi-Wan simply didn't break his promises, and that Obi-Wan was simply waiting for Anakin to return. But Anakin had returned and Obi-Wan still wasn't answering his comms, was in fact avoiding him even here in the temple. They couldn't work through the issues between them if Obi-Wan was hiding from him!

Anakin caught sight of Master Windu in the hall ahead of him. For a moment Anakin debated calling out to him. He and Master Windu did not get along, and despite the fact that they had taken down a Sith Lord together, well, the two of them were never going to be friends. But Anakin knew that Windu considered Obi-Wan a friend.

Well, that cinched it.

"Master Windu!"

The man stopped and waited for Anakin to reach him, looking distinctly impatient. "Yes, Knight Skywalker?"

"Have you seen Obi-Wan? I haven't heard from him and I can't find him."

Master Windu's face was difficult to read at the best of times, but at the moment it was like stone. "Master Kenobi is..." Windu paused and Anakin felt his anxiety spike, "Master Kenobi has been in the Halls of Healing for the past several weeks."

Anakin felt as though all of the air in the temple had disappeared. "What?" He knew the word came out sounding distressed.

Master Windu just sighed, "You heard me, Knight Skywalker."

Anakin felt his distress turn to anger, and he pulled himself up to his full height. "And why wasn't I informed?"

Master Windu looked unimpressed as he met his eyes coldly, "You were on leave, a leave that Obi-Wan was instrumental in ensuring you received, the council was not eager to send you off, not given the recent revelations of your many indiscretions. I was not going to waste the effort he had put into getting you leave, to call you back when there was nothing you could do to help. You have no need to be informed of everything that Obi-Wan does. He is no longer your Master."

Yeah, Anakin was furious, he didn't care what the council said, Obi-Wan was always going to be his Master, the two of them were a team and the council couldn't change that. He was tempted to let out a little of his anger by loudly expressing his displeasure at Windu, but he had a feeling that that road would very much fail to give him the answers he needed. "What happened?"

Master Windu turned away from him and stared off into the distance. "Obi-Wan has been pushing himself too hard and too fast for far too long. I found him collapsed in his kitchen." Windu's voice didn't waver but the force was tinged with something that seemed close to regret.

Anakin blinked, "And that was a few weeks ago?"

Windu nodded, "Yes." They were both silent for a moment. It didn't make any sense to Anakin. He understood that Obi-Wan was exhausted, to be honest Obi-Wan collapsing didn't come as a complete surprise, and Anakin was trying very hard to ignore the guilt he felt at that. But if this had happened a few weeks ago then Obi-Wan shouldn't still be in the Halls of Healing, he should be fine, and here with Anakin.

"So he's... tired?"

Windu turned to him, "Obi-Wan is still in a coma. Nothing the healers can do has been able to wake him."

Any remaining fury Anakin had felt disappeared and the fear was back in full force. "He's going to be okay, right?"

Master Windu stared at him for a long moment that seemed to drag on before he finally sighed, "We don't know. He should have woken up. The healers can't find any reason for him to still be unconscious."

Anakin nodded, trying to push back the fear until he could see Obi-Wan with his own eyes. "Thank you, Master Windu." He didn't wait for him to answer. He had to get to the Halls of Healing.

 

Once he knew where to find Obi-Wan he found him easily. There was a small part of Anakin that wished he hadn't though. Obi-Wan looked a little bit like he was asleep. Except he wasn't. The longer Anakin sat there next to the bed the more Anakin felt as though he was going to fall apart. It made it even more obvious that Obi-Wan was sick. Any time that Anakin had come to Obi-Wan, it didn't matter how little slept he'd had or if he was in the depths of unconsciousness, he always woke up the moment Anakin's distress reached him.

It was so easy, now, to see that something was wrong. That something had been wrong for a very long time. Obi-Wan was pale and thin, there were lines of stress that even unconsciousness couldn't seem to smooth away. And it wasn't new. Anakin couldn't say when any of it had happened, or if had all been so very gradual. But somehow it had reached a point where it had all culminated into a coma that Obi-Wan wasn't waking up from.

He read through the datapad that Vokara Che had left for him to read. Mild malnutrition, exhaustion, adrenaline poisoning, overextension of Force use.

Most of it was fairly straightforward, and Vokara Che had summed it up rather succintly. Obi-Wan hadn't been taking care of himself, and when his body demanded that he do so, Obi-Wan had used the Force to give him the energy and strength to keep going. He hadn't been giving himself the sleep or the nutrition that his body needed, had instead kept himself in a constant state of adrenaline rush and force enhanced strength. If it wasn't so damaging to his health it would be impressive. That constant manipulation of the Force shouldn't have been possible, most people would have been drained long ago. Even Anakin would be wary of trying to do something like this, but Obi-Wan wasn't most people. He was stubborn, bull-headed, unwilling to cede to his limitations, utterly devoted to everyone else, and prone to ignoring his own needs.

Anakin dropped the datapad and curled over Obi-Wan's arm, clinging to his Master's hand tightly. None of that was a surprise, and that was the problem. Anakin knew Obi-Wan. Knew how hard he pushed himself, how hard he was on himself, knew the standards Obi-Wan had set for himself. He just hadn't fully realized what exactly that meant. If he had realized he would have done something, anything, to make sure that it never got this far. But he hadn't. He hadn't realized and he hadn't protected Obi-Wan.

There was the sound of tapping from behind him and Anakin could feel the unmistakable presence of Master Yoda. He refused to look up from where he had his forehead resting on Obi-Wan's arm.

Yoda grunted a little bit as he made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed. "Tired, young Obi-Wan is."

Anakin felt a bitter laugh force it's way out of his mouth. "I'm pretty sure that this is a little more than just tired."

"Hmm, asleep he is, tired he must be."

"He won't wake up!" The words came out far closer to a yell than he was comfortable with. He knew that losing his temper right now wouldn't do him any good. Especially considering the very thin ice he was on when it came to the council. Helping to kill the Sith Master only got you so far when you'd been breaking the Code and lying to everyone for years. Obi-Wan would urge him to be patient, but Obi-Wan was unconscious.

"No, woken up he hasn't. Mean this does not, that wake up he won't." Anakin watched Yoda gently grasp Obi-Wan's hand on the opposite side of the bed. There was a slump to Yoda's shoulders. "Given much, Obi-Wan has. For long time has he given. No rest has he been given."

"So you think he'll wake up? It's just taking him a while?"

Yoda met his eyes. "Wake up, he will. Soon, it will be."

Anakin felt his heart lighten and for the first time since Windu had told him what happened he thought he might be able to breathe again. "Thank you."

Yoda shook his head, looking sad, "Thank me, you should not." Yoda was silent for a long time, his two clawed hands around one of Obi-wan's hands. "Much help, does Obi-Wan need. Hurt, he has been. Given too much, for too long. Taken too much, we have."

"I know."

Yoda shook his head with another grunt. Anakin suspected that if it had been a different situation he would have received a gimer stick to his shins. "No, know you do not." Yoda's voice was sharp, "Many burdens he bears. Many burdens have we given him. Years pain he carries, healed he has not. Save himself, he will not. Believe himself worthy of it, he does not." Yoda sighed, "Our fault, this is."

Anakin stared at Yoda, parsing through everything he had said, he nodded slowly. "Okay. I can do that." He paused, trying not to feel overwhelmed. "How do I do that?" He could save Obi-Wan from Gundark's nests, pushy women, droids, and Sith Lords. But he had no idea how to save Obi-Wan from himself. It had never occurred to him that Obi-Wan would ever need that type of saving. It was Obi-Wan that saved Anakin from himself.

"Start at the beginning, you should. Understand the fires that forged him, you must. The way to help him, easier to find will be."

Anakin nodded, "Yes, Master Yoda."

Master Yoda gave him a sad smile, "A new time this is, alone you will not be. Much help will you have." Anakin watched as Yoda rested a clawed hand on Obi-Wan's forehead, and he didn't think he was imagining the look of regret on the old master's face. But before he could ask what it was that Master Yoda could feel guilty for, the old master was shuffling away the tapping of his gimer stick echoing through the halls as Yoda left him alone with his Master.

He sat there, mulling over what Master Yoda had said until his comlink went off, pulling him from his thoughts. He answered it quickly, "Skywalker."

"Ani?" His angel's voice came through the comm, "Did everything go okay with Obi-Wan, you said you thought the two of you would be home a few hours ago."

Anakin glanced at the chrono on the wall and blinked in surprise at how late it was. He had spent more time at Obi-Wan's bedside than he had thought. "Padme," He felt his throat close a little as he choked over the next few words. "Padme, Obi-Wan..." He stopped, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Obi-Wan's in a coma. He's been in a coma for weeks, and they didn't tell me."

The comlink went silent.

"Ani," Padme's voice was soft, soothing, "What happened?"

Anakin shook his head, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "He collapsed a few weeks ago while we were on Naboo. The healers haven't been able to wake him up."

"Oh, Ani."

"Master Yoda was here, he says that Master Obi-Wan will wake up."

"That's good, Ani."

"But he said that something more is wrong, that Obi-Wan needs help, that Obi-Wan isn't saving himself." And wasn't that so obvious now, Obi-Wan was in this position because he had refused to take care of himself, didn't understand that he was supposed to. "I don't know what to do." He admitted quietly. "I didn't even realize that something was wrong."

"Ani, you need to calm down. It's going to be okay." Her voice was soothing and Anakin desperately needed that. "If Yoda says that  
Obi-Wan will need help, then that's what we'll do. Together, Anakin. We'll help him together." It was quiet for a long moment. "Come home, Anakin. Obi-Wan is still..." She paused, "He's still asleep right now. That gives us time to figure things out, to come up with a plan to help him."

Anakin nodded, "Right. Okay. Thank you, Padme. I don't know what I'd do without you." And thanks to Obi-Wan he hadn't had to find out. 

Padme laughed quietly, "Crash and burn, most likely. Come home. We'll figure it all out."

"Okay. Okay. I'm coming home." He ended the call and stared at his Master. He was still just as still and silent as he'd been since  
Anakin had entered the Halls of Healing, his force presence still distant and out of reach. "I'll save you, Master. I promise. I'll save you."

He tightened his hold on his Master's hand, but there was no response. Obi-Wan just slept on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note-This chapter has received minor updates since original posting.


	3. You Cannot Save a Man who will Not Save Himself (But You can Tell HIm He's Worth Saving)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still a little short, and... not a lot happens... The next chapter is also looking like it's also going to be pretty short, so I should have it up fairly soon... And then after that... things are going to start actually happening... So... Bear with me. Please. I just realized that I use ellipses way too often.

It was with a sinking feeling in her chest that Padme turned back to look at the group of people in her sitting area. Padme had stood before the Senate and felt less pressure than she did then as she faced the intense gaze of several clones and Ahsoka Tano.

“Did Skyguy just say that Master Obi-Wan is in a coma?” Ahsoka sounded disbelieving, as though the very idea of Obi-Wan in a coma, helpless, was absurd. Padme could admit to herself that she understood where Ahsoka was coming from. Obi-Wan always seemed like he’d be impossible to stop.

At the time it had seemed wise to suggest that Ahsoka and several of the clones stay with her and the twins for the day while Anakin was with Obi-Wan. At the time they had thought that Anakin would return with Obi-Wan and they would eat together before Ahsoka used their guest room and the clones made their way to the rooms that the Jedi had started preparing for them. She knew that all of the clones who were currently in her home had been told that the Jedi had prepared rooms for them in the temple since the GAR garrisons here on Coruscant weren’t available at the moment, and even if they were they’d never been planned for all of the clones, only he battalions stationed at Coruscant at any one time. They’d be housed at the temple while the garrisons were turned into something more comfortably habitable for those clones who decided to stay rather than relocate to another planet. The clones around her had scoffed when she’d asked them what they were going to do, as though the idea of relocating was ridiculous. Between choosing to stay near Anakin and Obi-Wan or seeing the Galaxy without the pressure of fighting in a war, they had chosen to stay. And now, with the exception of Echo and Boil who were in another room with Luke and Leia, they were all staring at her.

She turned to Ahsoka. “Yes. That’s what Anakin said.”

With a precision that spoke of both their training and their long friendship with each other Commander Cody and Captain Rex rose from where they were sitting in perfect synchronization and started moving towards the door, each of the others standing up to follow them.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

Cody turned to her “We’re going to the temple.” The look he gave her, while polite, made it clear he thought the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, which, she mused, it probably was, “The General needs us.”

“He’s in a coma. You can’t help him right now.”

Kix sent her a dark (and yet somehow still polite) look, “I’m his medic!”

Actually, he’d been the medic with the 501st, not the 212th, but she’d learned long ago that for many of the clones it didn’t matter. Where Skywalker was, Kenobi followed and vice versa. “Yes, I know. But what he needs now isn’t a bunch of you standing guard around his bed. Anakin said that there was something more going on. What you need to do is wait here, and then Anakin can tell us everything that he has found out. And then you can help him.”

It was silent for a moment and Padme knew that each and every one of the men in front of her was trying to decide whether or not to ignore her. 

“We need a plan.” She implored. She didn’t actually know what there was to plan. It didn’t sound like there was anything they could do, Obi-Wan was in a coma, they couldn’t actually fix that. 

Finally, Commander Cody nodded. “We’ll wait for General Skywalker.” It wasn’t hard to tell that he wasn’t happy with the idea. But she would take what she could get.

None of the men sat back down. Instead they all stood stiffly between the door and the seating area. The air of peace and relaxation that had permeated the room after their leave on Naboo was gone now. Ahsoka had gotten to her feet and was now pacing, glancing between Padme, the men, and the door.

“What do we know so far?” Rex asked her, his voice seemed to have deepened into a growl. Unlike Ahsoka’s pacing the Captain was completely still, his whole body stiff with tension.

Padme sighed, “He’s been in a coma since some point during our time on Naboo. Anakin said that Master Yoda assured him that he’ll wake up, but that he’ll need help.”

She could tell that that wasn’t enough information for any of them.

Suddenly Cody swore. “I shouldn’t have left. I should have known that even if the war was over…” He stopped talking, and Padme saw his jaw flex as he gritted his teeth. 

Padme considered arguing, reassuring him that this was in no way his fault, but she had been a politician long enough to know when certain fights couldn’t be won. And as long as Obi-Wan was unconscious there would be nothing she could say to convince the Commander that there was nothing he could have done. There were similar looks of recrimination on several of the other men’s faces. It hit her that these men had seen Obi-Wan hurt before, but that this was somehow different. Commander Cody was right, the war was over, they shouldn’t have to be in this position, they shouldn’t be sitting here wondering and worrying.

Even Ahsoka was looking guilty, which was absolutely ludicrous, Ahsoka had been in no position to do anything about it, and certainly didn’t owe the Jedi anything.

“He’s going to wake up.” Everyone nodded but no one else said anything. Padme sent a small prayer that she was right. If Obi-Wan didn’t wake up… She held back a shudder. It would absolutely destroy Anakin. And looking at the faces of most of the people in the room with her, she realized that it could very easily destroy several of them as well. 

It was almost inconceivable to Padme that Obi-Wan wouldn’t wake up though. Obi-Wan was practically a pillar of strength, constant and sure, there for anyone who needed him. Ever since that first time she had met him during the blockade of Naboo she had felt that way. Obi-Wan was simply there. Whenever Obi-Wan had promised her something it had happened, no matter the cost to himself. When he promised her quietly to help her free her people, he had, losing Master Jinn in the process. When he had promised to find the people trying to kill her, he had. When he had promised to bring Anakin home from the many battles they fought, he always had, tired, broken and bruised, but he had always brought Anakin home. And the last promise, that if she ever had need of his help with the twins or trying to balance motherhood with her time in the senate, that he’d be there. The only reason she had gotten any sleep the first little bit after the twins had been born is because Obi-Wan had been there, quietly rocking and soothing her children when she was overwhelmed and Anakin terrified. And she still needed him. They all did.

It seemed selfish, to pray that he’d wake up because she needed him. But it didn’t stop that from being true.

~-~-~-~

By the time that Anakin got home Padme had put the twins to bed and had attempted and failed to tempt the clones with food. Padme wouldn’t have been surprised if they had all revolted and left despite the promise she had wrangled from them to stay until Anakin could get back. She could practically feel the anxiety radiating off of them, and she wondered if it was cruel to keep them from their General’s side.

The look in Anakin’s eyes wasn’t a new one to her. It was the look in his eyes when he’d been worried for his mother. The look when he’d started having dreams about her and the baby, the one when he’d been sure she was going to die. The look when he had sworn to do everything he could to save her. 

She wished that it was more reassuring.

Anakin threw something at Kix. “This is the information we have on his health.” Everyone turned to where Kix quickly read through the datapad. His lips thinned in disapproval. “None of this explains why he hasn’t woken up yet.”

Anakin sighed, “No, nothing does. I tried to reach him through our bond but it didn’t work, the force is… I don’t know, hazy around him. Master Che says no one else has been able to reach him either.” His voice was unhappy and there was an undercurrent of anger and frustration. Palme withheld a sigh, for all that she loved Anakin, whenever something was out of his control he tended to meet it with anger instead of calm reason.

“But you said that Master Yoda said he’d wake up?” Padme asked, keeping her voice gentle and encouraging.

Anakin shrugged, a small unhappy thing, “I know. He did.”

“Do you believe him?”

Anakin sighed, “Yeah, yeah I do. But he also said that even once he’d woken up he’d need help.”

“Is there anything else wrong?” It had sounded to her like there was nothing medically wrong, if there had been she felt as though Anakin would have mentioned it already.

Anakin shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what he needs.”

Padme wasn’t even the slightest bit force sensitive, but she swore she could feel the level of distress in the room rocket up. “Calm down.” She rubbed her forehead. “We just need to start at the beginning.”

Anakin’s head jerked up, “That’s what Yoda said. He said I needed to save Obi-Wan, that Obi-Wan refused to save himself. That to save him I needed to understand him and to do that I had to start from the beginning.”

Padme nodded, “See, there’s no reason to worry. We have a place to start.”

“Where? Where’s the beginning? The beginning of the War? The beginning of our time together as Master and Apprentice?”

Padme hesitated, but Ahsoka answered first. “What if we just started at his beginning? I’m sure the files extend that far; we can go until we find something that we think might be important.”

“General Skywalker, if you can requisition those files, we’ll divvy them up between us. We’ll put a rotation on the Halls of Healing so we’ll have someone there at all times.”

Padme turned to Cody, intent on telling him that it really wasn’t necessary to put a guard on Obi-Wan’s bedside, but Anakin beat her. “That’ll be perfect, Commander Cody. I should have been able to collect all of the files by tomorrow. Set up that rotation. We’ll meet tomorrow to divvy up the information. We’ll find whatever it is Yoda wants us to find to help Obi-Wan. Space has been made available for all of the clones in the temple, or you can stay here or in either mine or Obi-Wan’s rooms.”

“You can stay for dinner though.” Padme added quickly.

Cody nodded, “I’m sure my brothers would appreciate that, but I’m taking first shift in the Halls of Healing.”

He nodded to her and turned to leave, Rex and Kix at his heels. 

Padme sighed. She reminded herself that there were some battles she wouldn’t win.

“Come on Anakin, let’s get the rest of us some food and then we’ll get you to bed. You’ll need to be rested for tomorrow.”

Anakin met her eyes and nodded and Padme held in a sigh. The Senate was still on recess as they all tried to decide on what to do now, but she had a feeling that her vacation was now officially over.

Anakin and Obi-Wan needed her. She wouldn’t fail them.


	4. The World is Full of Broken Men (Who Make Each Other Whole)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure this is the last part where we get significant information about how the war ended up ending. Which means NEXT time we're going to have people start learning information about Obi-Wan's past... Some things are going to infuriate them... Some things are going to leave them so very confused because... sometimes things just really don't make sense and they can't find the whole story...  
> But anyways, that's for next time. This time we just get people feeling guilty while other people just lay there unconscious.

Cody hadn’t wanted to go on leave. But at the same time he had. He had wanted the time away from his General, if only to give him time to know that he wouldn’t try and kill his General. Again.

He still woke up terrified, remembering aiming his blaster at the General and shooting. Except for in his dreams the General hadn’t dodged. He woke up with the word ‘Traitor’ pounding through his mind and a hazy after image of Obi-Wan lying broken on the floor.

Death had been too good for the former Chancellor.

Nothing had been okay since his General had killed Grievous. He had returned and looked at Cody a pensive look on his face and told him he was returning to Coruscant and he’d let the council know of his success against Grievous then. Because Obi-Wan had a ‘feeling’. Cody had learned long ago to never doubt those feelings, and so he had turned command of the 212th over to Boil and had returned with Obi-Wan because while those feelings were always right they were also almost always an indication of something about to go very wrong.

Despite his decision not to tell the council on Utapau Obi-Wan had seemingly changed his mind part way through the flight and informed the council of his success against Grievous, there had been a strange tension coming from the other High Generals, but they had only nodded grim-faced. Cody found the timing very odd because they were almost back to Coruscant and at this point there had seemed to be very little difference between telling them now and telling them when they arrived, but had said nothing. They had arrived on Coruscant and his General had frowned and instead of making his way into the temple had instantly, and without a word, set off for the senate building. Cody had done what he always did and followed him.

That first glance, of High General Windu holding a lightsaber to the Chancellor as General Skywalker stood nearby had shocked him to the core, and the High General’s declaration of ‘traitor’ had made him dizzy.

Obi-Wan had gotten Anakin’s attention, pleading with him. But for Cody everything had narrowed down to that moment when the Chancellor had looked straight at him and hissed ‘Execute Order 66, start with Kenobi’. At those words something in his mind had clicked into place, that single order reverberating inside his mind, overwhelming every other thought. And Cody had always been a good soldier, and good soldiers followed orders.

He still remembered turning to his General, except for those moments he hadn’t been his General, had just been a traitor, and raising his blaster, and pulled the trigger. He had tried to kill his General. Impossibly fast instincts had saved Obi-Wan. But Cody wouldn’t be deterred. The whole time his mind seemed to tear itself in half, that foreign surety and instinctive, impossible, unstoppable obedience against years of fighting together, grieving together, surviving together. The Chancellor was the highest authority, and he declared the Jedi traitors, and half of his mind didn’t seem capable of seeing anything past that. But the first scene with General Windu declaring the Chancellor a traitor gave him reason to doubt, gave him a foothold against the pounding insistent noise in his mind. And while he couldn’t not follow orders… He found it just a little easier to miss than normal, a little easier to get knocked backwards when he charged his General.

General Skywalker had nearly killed him, his armor actually showed where the man’s lightsaber had stopped, and Cody would have deserved it, would have gladly thrown himself on the General’s lightsaber himself. But General Kenobi had stepped in and had stopped General Skywalker and when he had turned to Cody still deflecting Cody’s blaster bolts, throwing himself out of the way of Cody’s fists and kicks and swinging blasters, there had been no anger in his eyes. General Kenobi’s worried face had been the last thing he’d seen before he’d fallen unconscious.

When he had finally woken up from his force induced slumber he had already been through surgery and the Chancellor had been killed and the General, his General had been working away on a datapad in the chair beside him. Cody had grabbed on to his robe and held on, irrationally afraid that if he disappeared than it would be because Cody had killed him. General Kenobi had let him cling to him, running a hand through his hair and whispering assurance. Cody hadn’t let go until exhaustion had pulled him back into sleep.

He had been the only clone to have their chip activated that night, but he wasn’t the only one of his brothers who had had a hard time letting their Generals out of their sight. He also wasn’t the only one who was terrified of being with their Generals, afraid that something would kick in and whisper ‘Traitor’, despite the fact that each and every one of them had gotten the chips removed as soon as they could. But that wasn’t enough to make any of them feel safe in their own skins, afraid that someone else could still take control. That was one of the reasons Obi-Wan had told Cody to take the leave. It wasn’t hard to see that Cody felt unbalanced, desperate to be by his General’s side, to have his back, and yet desperate to keep distance between them, just in case. His General had told him that it would help Cody find his balance again. Help him figure out what he wanted to do now that the war was over and Cody could choose.

And Cody had. With the help of all of his brothers in the 212th and the 501st. He had found his balance and had returned to Coruscant because that was where his General was and it was the only place he could imagine being.

There were some battalions and some soldiers who had decided that with the end of the war they would take the opportunity the Republic was giving them to start over somewhere. To become farmers and teachers and bodyguards and security and just plain regular citizens in whatever capacity best fit them.

He hadn’t been among those numbers, he had been made for the Jedi, and the ending of the war didn’t change that. He, and many of his brother felt the same, felt that they needed the Jedi, and frankly that the Jedi needed them. 

This was a prime example. Obi-Wan was among the greatest of the Jedi (In Cody’s admittedly biased opinion he was perhaps the greatest Jedi). He was also completely incapable of taking care of himself. 

Cody honestly wasn’t sure how his General had managed to survive before Cody had shown up to take care of him. Either way there was no chance of Cody leaving his General now.

He reached out to where Obi-Wan lay completely still on the bed, and allowed his hand to gently brush the hair off of his General’s forehead. Kix stood on the other side of the bed reading through the more detailed reports on Obi-Wan’s health again, scanning to see if the healers had missed anything. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust the Jedi healers, but it was also impossible to not double check. They had to know for themselves.

Rex stood by his side, frowning as he watched the General breathe slowly, Rex’s hand twitched in what Cody guessed was an aborted motion to reach out and touch the figure on the bed. “Anything else, Kix?”

Kix looked up with a scowl, “Well, it’s not a surprise his body shut down. The General never did know when to stop pushing himself. But that’s not exactly new now, is it?”

Cody snorted, “No. The General would forget to eat if we didn’t feed him.” A fact that was only slightly exaggerated. It was something that had driven Cody nearly insane. But he would gladly do it again, follow his Jedi around and make sure he was eating and sleeping and taking care of himself at least somewhat, he would do it all for as long as he was allowed, as long as his Jedi would just wake up.

Kix rolled his eyes, “Damn fool Jedi.” He glanced through the document one last time. “No, he’s in bad health, but he should be awake.”

Cody nodded, “Well, then I’m sure he’ll wake up. He does enjoy doing things the hard way.” It was a half truth; Cody wasn’t sure he’d wake up. Because Cody had been around long enough to know that if it could go wrong, well, then more than likely it would go wrong.

Rex looked up at him, understanding and compassion clear in his eyes. “You sure you want to take first shift vod? I can take it.”

Cody shook his head. “I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine, he hadn’t felt fine since the moment General Skywalker’s voice had come over Senator Amidala’s comm unit, saying that his General had landed himself in a coma somehow. And now he was standing here staring at his unconscious General and it was threatening to steal his hard won balance.

Kix shook his head, “No sir, as medic, I’m taking first shift, you and Rex are going to go and get some sleep. You can relieve me in a few hours.” Cody hated it when medics started issuing orders. He opened his mouth to argue, but Kix just shook his head, face set determinedly. “I’ll be here Commander, I’ll take care of him for you, but you need to get some sleep. General Yoda might think he needs General Skywalker, and I’m sure he does. But he’s going to need you too, and you know how he gets when he thinks that any of us aren’t doing well, he won’t let you help him if you aren’t okay.” Cody sighed, annoyed and frustrated, but he knew that Kix was right, and the fact that Kix had just pulled the medic card on him to stay with General Kenobi didn’t pass un-noticed. Kix was a clever bastard.

Rex seemed equally annoyed, but he nodded to Kix and the two of them left the Halls of Healing. They didn’t speak and yet Cody wasn’t surprised when of all the options that General Skywalker had given them they both headed for General Kenobi’s quarters.

A single dispassionate glance around the quarters left Cody feeling numb. They were bare and empty. Nothing indicative of the man that lived there, his tiny rooms on the Negotiator had shown more of his General’s personality than these. Although, Cody realized, it wasn’t as though he’d been here all that long. He’d spent more time here in the few months after the war than he had during the entirety of the war, and Cody wasn’t all that certain he’d spent much time here even then.

Rex seemed to share his displeasure with the room, glaring at the bare walls. “Come on, Vod, we need to sleep.”

The two of them slipped through the quarters easily, and found themselves in the only bedroom. They curled up together on the bed. And there was some sort of bitter irony that he was in his General’s bed and the man wasn’t there. Cody took a deep breath, there was still the faint scent of his General, the scent was both comforting and painful.

“I tried to kill him, Rex.” This wasn’t the first time he’d turned to Rex for reassurance since that night, but it was the worst he’d felt since the first few times.

“But you didn’t.” A pair of arms wrapped around him and Cody let himself be drawn in.

“He was so still.”

Rex didn’t say anything for a long moment. “No one’s tougher than the General. Now that we’re here, he’ll know he has someone to watch his back. He’ll be up before we know it.” They were quiet for a long time. He felt Rex shift a little and welcomed the small kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Sleep, vod.”

Soothed by Rex and the lingering presence of his General, Cody finally did.


	5. We are a Puzzle from the Pieces of Our Past (And all Puzzles are Broken Apart)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have finals this weekend? Yes... Should I be studying for them? Also yes. Am I? No. My brain has turned into mush and has demanded that I abandon my notes on Discrete Probability and Continuous Variables and instead frustrate all of Obi-Wan's loved ones by only hinting about how awful things were while not actually telling them anything. And now that I've done that I should probably go put in some time studying Macro Economics.  
> Not sure if it's going to actually happen, I might postpone that and go shopping because I don't have any food in my apartment and because my brain still fills like mush, so why not.

Whenever Anakin lied to Obi-Wan about any of the, admittedly many, times he had broken the Jedi Code he had often comforted himself with the idea that he just couldn’t tell Obi-Wan, because Obi-Wan just couldn’t understand. He had grown up in the temple, had never known true hardship, his path to being a Jedi had been easy and simple, there had never been anything for Obi-Wan other than the Jedi. He couldn’t possibly understand having to fight for it, having to sacrifice for it. After all Obi-Wan was the perfect Jedi. How could it happen any other way?

It was Padme who brought the first issue to their attention as they began sorting through all of the information the Jedi had on Obi-Wan. “I thought parents had to be willing to give their children up?” There was a dangerous look in her eyes.

Anakin shrugged, “Yeah. If the parents don’t want to give them to the Jedi than the Jedi respect that.”

“Normally.” Everyone turned to where Ahsoka was grinning at some of the information on Obi-Wan’s years as an initiate.

“What do you mean normally?” Padme asked, her voice cold. “There shouldn’t be an exception to that sort of rule. It should be willing or not at all.”

Ahsoka looked up, “It was a part of our public relations class, if the parents are dead and the children are in orphanages you can’t really get parental permission and the Republic has given blanket permission for orphans to be taken unless they have a family member as a guardian. And then there are cases where children are being abused by their parents and the Jedi have permission from the Republic to remove force-sensitive children from that environment.” Ahsoka frowned, “It’s not entirely common, but there are still people who become frightened when their kids are force-sensitive. Try to beat the force out of the kid.”

The group fell silent and turned to look at Padme, she gave them a tight smile. “I can’t say for sure why, but a 3-year old Obi-Wan was taken from his parents without the parents’ permission.”

“I’m going to go with abuse. Unless it’s normal for children to be brought to the temple with their arm broken in three places and several infected lacerations.” Anakin turned to look at where Kix had the entirety of Obi-Wan’s medical file on a datapad. The room fell quiet as they took that in. 

“On the bright side though, Yoda’s recommendation for being put into the crèche is sweet.” Padme broke the silence, “Warm soul, he has. Good hugs, he gives. Brave boy, he is. Great Jedi, he will be.” The twisted grammar coming from the normally well-spoken woman brought a small smile to his lips. But it wasn’t enough to distract him from noticing Rex looking over Padme’s shoulder and making a small note. Anakin didn’t need the force to know that Rex was collecting the information he’d need to find Obi-Wan’s parents.

If it weren’t for the fact that Anakin fully intended to join him, he would have felt bad for them. A furious Rex was a terrifying sight, and Anakin wasn’t foolish enough to think Rex would be alone. There were too many people who loved Obi-Wan for that to be the case.

“Do you think he remembers?” Ahsoka asked quietly, “He was only three.”

No one answered, because no one knew. None of the Jedi talked about their families, not even those who did have faint memories of them. But whether or not he remembered, Anakin knew that something like that would make a difference. Leaving a life of abuse and little love to a life of distant compassion. Anakin could only be grateful that Qui-Gon had been Obi-Wan’s master. Qui-Gon had known how to show love, without Qui-Gon… Anakin shuddered, it was amazing Obi-Wan had figured out how to show as much love as he had, because his former master didn’t quite understand the concept of being demonstrative. But given that his early life had been either abusive or nearly clinical it was more understandable.

Things grew silent as as they continued reading through the different information of Obi-Wan’s time as an initiate, sharing interesting tidbits with each other as they read through. With Cody, Rex, Kix, or Padme asking for clarification on some of the information.  
After that first moment of tension Anakin found himself calming down, although the notes written by his clan leaders were only the bare bones of Obi-Wan’s life growing up it was still more than he had ever really gotten from Obi-Wan himself. There were things that he wanted to know more about. For instance, how had Obi-Wan and Garen Muln managed to disappear for three days in a temple full of Knights and Masters? Master Vant’s note showed a fair amount of aggravation at the two initiate’s insistence that they got lost. Slowly the group pulled together a blurry image of Obi-Wan’s life as an initiate. The records showed that he was talented, and that he did well in class. There were also notes that he and his friends were good at getting themselves into trouble and then talking themselves out of it (and occasionally talking themselves even further into it). It still left Anakin wishing that Obi-Wan had told him more about his own time as a Jedi youngling. But then, Anakin realized that for most of his life he wouldn’t have really cared. Teenagers, he told himself, tended not to.

“What does it mean to be reassigned to the Agricultural Corps?”

Ahsoka and Anakin both stared at Cody in shock. “Wait, what?” Anakin stuttered.

“That’s not possible!” Ahsoka added.

Cody just raised an eyebrow at them. “It says here that Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi was reassigned to the Agricultural Corps and shipped out on The Monument.”

Ahsoka grabbed the datapad from Cody and read it again. “It’s true.” She said, sounding shocked, “He really was assigned to the Agri-corps.”

Anakin shook his head. “That’s obviously not true. He’s a Jedi.” Every Jedi knew about the agri-corps. It was most initiates biggest fear, one that Anakin had never had because Obi-Wan had already chosen him.

“How about one of you explain what that means, and why it’s so impossible.” Padme suggested.

Ahsoka sighed, “Not every initiate can become a padawan. The Jedi just don’t have enough Masters for that. Any initiate not chosen to be a padawan by the time they turn 13… They’re sent to the corps. At least before the war, once the war started they dropped that rule, they needed people too desperately to send any prospective padawans away.”

“She’s saying that they tried to turn Obi-Wan into a farmer!” Anakin clarified. He felt angry and frustrated. The very idea that the Jedi were so blind as to send Obi-Wan away. He just couldn’t comprehend that.

Padme frowned, “I find that hard to imagine.”

The looks on the clones faces said that they didn’t understand either, the look on Cody’s face as he attempted to imagine Obi-Wan as a farmer was something incredulously scandalized. But none of them understood as well as Anakin and Ahsoka did. Being told you’d go to the corps was terrifying but of all the corps the agricorps was probably the greatest fear. It was the taunt that you’d hear only from bullies, and never when it could be overheard. It was seen as the ultimate failure.

Anakin reached out and pulled the datapad from Ahsoka, but this particular file only indicated that Obi-Wan had been sent to the agri-corps, he stared at the date that he’d been recorded joining the corps, he frowned, double checking an earlier file, “He wasn’t even thirteen yet.”

Ahsoka gasped but everyone else just looked at him blankly. “Meaning?”

Anakin opened his mouth to answer and then shut it again. How could he explain what those extra few weeks meant? It wasn’t something that he could entirely understand himself, he turned to Ahsoka who frowned a little.

“You have to understand, the majority of us, we’re taken as children, told our entire lives that we’re going to be Jedi. And then, as we get closer to thirteen, there’s suddenly this pressure where we realize that everything we’ve worked for our whole lives, might just be a distant dream. I was actually close to aging out, it was terrifying, I wanted to be a Jedi so much, more than anything. But no masters were looking at me, no one wanted me, but then the war started and the aging-out rule was abolished and suddenly that pressure was gone.” She smiled wryly, “It was of course replaced by the pressure of knowing you might be sent off to war.”

Anakin could practically hear Padme gritting her teeth, of all of them she was the one who understood the least why the padawans had been sent out to war. They had argued about it countless times, and it wasn’t that he didn’t understand where she was coming from, because he did, it killed him whenever Ahsoka had been in danger. But Padme had been a queen at 14, he couldn’t understand why she refused to accept that the Jedi had made Ahsoka a soldier at the same age. And, well, the clones didn’t like having people who looked that young, but given that they were all younger than Ahsoka in terms of years alive they understood somewhat better although when he’d asked them about it they’d all looked at him as though he was bizarre, they didn’t see themselves as children after all.

Ashoka cleared her throat, glancing uncertainly at Padme, “But, to be sent to the corps before you turned thirteen? That would be more than just saying, ‘sorry we couldn’t find someone who was the right match to teach you’, that was telling Master Obi-Wan that they didn’t think he had what it took to be a Jedi, didn’t think he could be one, didn’t think he was good enough to become one. It would make being sent to the agri-corps so much worse.”

Padme was still frowning, but she was nodding now. “I think I understand.” Anakin glanced at the rest of the room, the three clones present all had various looks of confused outrage on their faces. Anakin figured it was good that these were the only three currently present, it wouldn’t do for the entirety of the 212th and the 501st to go on an offended rampage. Although he was sure they would all find out everything these three knew soon enough.

Rex was shaking his head, and Anakin thought he saw him mouthing ‘not good enough?’. Anakin understood the sentiment.

Kix cleared his throat, “But he was obviously taken as a padawan sometime after he was sent to Bandomeer.” He was skimming the charts, “The next time he was admitted to the Halls of Healing he was thirteen, got treated for a concussion, several cracked vertebrae and…” he frowned and started muttering to himself, “Seriously, how did he manage that, what was he doing?”

Anakin thought about asking, but he had a feeling that he already knew the general answer. He’d been Master Obi-Wan’s apprentice, and he wasn’t sure if they ever had a single mission that didn’t go terribly wrong in some way, he wouldn’t be surprised to learn that that was true of Obi-Wan’s missions as a padawan as well.

There was silence as the rest of the group skimmed through their datapads. “I’ve got mission assignments that were assigned to Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, but I don’t have a single written report on any of those missions, although I do have notes saying that Master Jinn did make reports, it looks like they are all purely verbal reports.” Cody reported.

Padme sighed, “That’s what I’m seeing here, in fact that seems to be true up until Obi-Wan turns 16, and suddenly around then I’ve got reports that sound like they were written by him.” She grinned a little bit, “He looks as though he is very thorough.”

There were grunts of agreement and Anakin sighed, “Seriously? Did Qui-Gon never fill out reports? I didn’t think you could get away with that? Obi-Wan would kill me if I didn’t turn in my reports.” 

Padme snorted, “I should hope so. They don’t make you fill out reports for the fun of torturing you, knowing what happened in the middle of diplomatic disputes is important. Especially since you are supposed to be a fair and un-biased participant who should give an honest and through evaluation on the situation and how it was resolved.”

Anakin made a face, “I know, trust me, Obi-Wan has given me the lecture often enough that I could recite it in my sleep.”

Ahsoka laughed, “That’s because you still don’t always actually fill out reports and he has to remind you to.”

Anakin glared at Ahsoka as Padme gave him a reproving look. “Thank you, Snips, for throwing me under the speeder there.”

Ashoka grinned, “You are more than welcome, Skyguy.”

Padme stood up and stretched. “It’s about time I feed the twins. What do you say we take a short break and get some food?”

Anakin nodded and stood when a choked sound came from Ahsoka, he stared at her in surprise. She was staring at something in obvious shock. “Snips?”

She looked up at him, back down at what she’d been reading, and then back up at him. “He left too.”

Anakin tilted his head in confusion, “What?”

“He left the order.” There was the sound of several people immediately denying the suggestion.

Anakin blinked several times, and then with several long strides he was beside his former padawan, there on her datapad was a small note, ‘Former Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi-Status: Resigned’. He glanced at the date, and noted that Obi-Wan would still be thirteen.  
Anakin shook his head, “No. Obi-Wan? He wouldn’t have left the Jedi.”

“He did.” Anakin glanced down at Ahsoka to see a strange look in her eyes. “It says so right here, and it… it explains some things.”

“What?”

“After the trial, and after I chose to leave. He tracked me down before I left Coruscant, he had a message from Master Plo for me. And he explained what had happened, that he and Master Plo had never agreed to my being expelled from the order, that they had fought for me. He told me how sorry he was. How proud of me he was.” She looked away, “I was still angry, and he let me yell at him, told me he understood. He told me that the Jedi path was not the only one, and that the Jedi could be wrong. He gave me a list of people who could help me if I needed it.” She paused, “He told me something, and I didn’t completely realize that it might have meant something more, he said that some people would shame me for leaving, but that he would never be one of those people, that he understood that sometimes leaving is just what you had to do. And then after that he told me that if I needed him, if I didn’t think I could do it alone…” She shook her head, “He told me a lot of things.”

Anakin gaped, he hadn’t known that Obi-Wan had also gone after Ahsoka. Had assumed that he hadn’t, had assumed that he didn’t care, had accused Obi-Wan of that very thing. He felt guilty for that; how often had Obi-Wan called Ahsoka ‘their’ padawan? Of course Obi-Wan had cared, of course Obi-Wan had gone after her. He wondered why Obi-Wan had never told him that, why he had allowed Anakin to yell and scream at him, allowed him to accuse him of not caring when Obi-Wan so obviously did.

“What do you mean, if you needed him, if you couldn’t do it alone?” Anakin blinked and turned to where Cody was staring at Ahsoka, eyes dark with something Anakin couldn’t name. 

Ashoka shook her head. “I’m sorry, it’s just, it’s personal.”

“Did he offer to…” Cody trailed off.

Ashoka didn’t answer, eyes turning back to what she’d been reading, Anakin tried to comprehend what the two of them weren’t saying, the way Cody was suddenly hunched over his files, a hurt look on his face, the way Ahsoka spoke about the conversation in an almost awed way, as though she still couldn’t believe it. His mind stuttered to a halt at the implications. He shut off the thought, unwilling to contemplate it. “When did he come back?”

Ahsoka blinked up at him before skimming through her file, “It says here that he’d been put on probation, after his return form Melida/Daan.” She double checked the dates, “It looks like it was about seven, eight, months later.”

Anakin nodded, “Okay. Do we know what happened, or why, or… anything? Why do I feel like we've learned a whole lot of nothing?"

Ashoka sighed, “No, there’s nothing. I’m starting to agree with Master Obi-Wan, people who don’t file reports are the absolute worst.” She made a face at that, “I can’t believe I just said that.” 

Padme laughed, “I’m glad that this is good for something then, we’ve converted someone to seeing the benefit of filing reports. And…” She paused somewhat dramatically, “I sent a message to Bant Eerin, Garen Muln, and a few others to see if they would be willing to tell us more about what happened during this time period, between the whole issue with the Agri-corps and his leaving the order, and coming back and what not. I’ve also requested information from the Senate Archives on what was happening on Melida/Daan during that time period.”

Anakin nodded, “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”

There were several snorts, “Don’t worry, General,” Rex said, his face completely straight, “We already knew that the Senator was the brain to your brawn.”

Padme scoffed, “I’ll have you know that I don’t need his brawn.”

Rex nodded seriously, “We know that, Senator, but we need to let the General have something.”

Anakin scowled at the two of them. “You aren’t as funny as you think you are.”

“You’re right, Skyguy, they’re much funnier.”

“Snips! Stop taking other people’s sides!”


	6. You Might Bend till You Break (But You Stand)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... The Semester is over... And the next semester starts in less than a week. So much for getting a long break...
> 
> I had all of these great plans for this chapter... Bant was going to be there, truths would be revealed, there would be drama galore. It was going to be beautiful. And then Obi-Wan shows up and he's all, "I'm gonna wake up now. Kay." And you all know how stubborn that man can be. So... Here you go... Obi-Wan has finally awoken. It's not nearly dramatic as you'd think, the drama is waiting a few chapters to really happen. 
> 
> Or at least I hope it will happen, I'm on my fourth or fifth day of being totally and completely exhausted no matter what I do, so I don't know if I'm going to really get anything done that isn't an absolute necessity.

He felt tired. That was the first thing he really noticed. The first thought that wasn’t his nightmares on repeat. Tired enough that he imagined he’d probably actually be able to sleep. Except he’d just been asleep, and he hadn’t enjoyed it, unable to pull himself away from scenes of death and fire. Had he been asleep? Something about that thought felt wrong. Something was nagging at him, whispering that he needed to get up. Which was strange, why did he need to get up? Why was he down? Had he been sleeping? He frowned, or tried to, his mind was still a little fuzzy.

Tea. He was making tea. Or he had been making tea. He had some very nice blends, some that he hadn’t really had the opportunity to use recently.

He should probably start unpacking too, his room was far too bare. It was unlikely he was going to be sent off-planet since they were so busy, but the council didn’t have anything maddeningly pressing for at least two ten-days, and this was the first time that they had been in such a position since Obi-Wan had been put on the council. And Anakin and the others were on leave, so he didn’t have any pressing duties in that regard either.

Why was he laying down? Hadn’t he been making tea?

He searched his mind, confused. Oh, yes, he’d fainted. How embarrassing. And since it didn’t feel like he was on the ground that meant that Mace had found him. He wondered if he was lucky enough to be on his bed, or if Mace had taken him to the Halls of Healing. Force, he hoped it wasn’t the latter. He didn’t like being in the Halls.

He took a moment to take a deep breath. There was a whisper of movement beside him, a small pressure on his hand. Someone was holding his hand. In fact, they’d been holding his hand this whole time. How had he not noticed that?

Really. Having fainted was not a good enough reason to let his awareness fall apart this way.

He should really open his eyes.

He took another deep breath, reaching out to the force. It came to him slowly, there was a strange sensation where he got the feeling the force was remonstrating him, and he gave it his best approximation of a sheepish apology, although he wasn’t completely sure what he was apologizing for. The force whirled around him, calming the disorientation, pushing the dreams away, a sorrowful apology caressing him as his mind calmed.

He allowed it to fill him, let it sweep through him, energizing him. Strengthening him.

Alright, he was going to have to pretend that nothing was wrong, he’d had a bit of a fainting spell, these things happened. But now he was good to go, no need to worry, definitely no need for anyone to tell his former apprentice or any of his men, because Force knew that if they found out he would never hear the end of it.

He opened his eyes and tried to sit up. His left hand moved to help push him up, but his right hand got caught on something. Oh, right, someone had been holding his hand.

He looked up and met Rex’s startled eyes. Rex who was never in his nightmares, or Obi-Wan didn’t think he’d seen him among the rest of the 501st that marched on the temple in his dreams. He pushed the thought aside. Oh dear. If Rex was here did that mean they’d called Anakin on Naboo? Maybe Anakin had asked Rex to come back and check on him. And if both Rex and Anakin knew than it was almost guaranteed that everyone else knew as well. He mentally cursed Mace. There had been no reason to tell Anakin what had happened. It had been a simple fainting spell.

“General.” The Captain sounded a mixture of surprised and relieved.

Obi-Wan gave him a small smile, “Captain Rex.” His throat was exceedingly dry, but he ignored that in favor of what was really important. It was time to try and bluff his way out of this. “I’d say it’s a pleasure, but I’m afraid that our current location has put quite a damper on seeing you again.” He shifted, and noticed an IV in his arm. He scowled and pulled it out, pushing the blanket on top of him off and moving to stand. Rex was suddenly up and in front of him, hands on his shoulders.

“I really don’t think you should be getting out of bed, General.”

Obi-Wan smiled at him, trying to ignore the way his legs seemed almost wobbly, his whole body did for that matter, he was almost surprised he’d managed to sit up. “Nonsense.” He used the man in front of him as a post and tried to pull himself up, but the man’s hands stayed firmly on his shoulders, a soft pressure that kept him down. He looked up again and met Rex’s eyes. There was worry there, more worry than there should be. 

“Please, General, you’ve had us worried.” Obi-Wan blinked, but gave Rex a small nod. Rex’s eyes scanned his face, looking for something. Apparently whatever he saw was enough because he stepped back, moving swiftly to the door, Obi-Wan watched as he said something to someone outside the room, before moving back so he was once again in front of Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan wanted to say something, but the way Rex was watching him, worried, contemplative, and protective, was sending warning bells off in his head. Something had happened between when he’d collapsed and now, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was yet.

The door opened again and Healer Che came in. Obi-Wan sent her his best smile. “Ah, Healer Che! I don’t suppose you could reassure Captain Rex here that I’m fine, could you?”

Healer Che gave him her patented healer glare. “Fine? You wake up after having been completely unresponsive for 31 days and you want me to say that you’re fine?”

Something in Obi-Wan’s mind shuttered to a halt. 31 days? He’d been unconscious for 31 days? He reached to the force, looking for confirmation. The force seemed almost smug.

“31 days? Unresponsive?” Oh this was not good. He felt something in himself curl in on itself. There was no way people didn't know, Anakin, the Council, Cody, the 212th, and Rex was here, so the 501st likely knew as well. They had all seen now, how utterly weak he was, how useless he was. He cursed himself mentally. Why couldn't he have kept things together? He swallowed bitterly.

Healer Che glared at him, “Yes. And don’t you even think about getting out of that bed!”

Obi-Wan raised his chin in challenge.

~~~~~

He waited until they were out of the Halls of Healing to sag against the wall. He swore mentally, he hated it when the Healers were right, he was exhausted and his body hardly felt as though it had been resting. In fact he felt more like he had been tossed into an arena with a rancor and lost, badly.

A hand gripped his elbow. “I don’t suppose I’ll be able to convince you to go back to the Healer’s ward?”

Obi-Wan sent his best glare at the man beside him. “No. Definitely not.” He hesitated, not wanting to prove himself weaker than he already had, but then allowed Rex to take some of his weight, “But I would be very appreciative of any help you could give me in making it to my own rooms so that I can do as Healer Che suggested and collapse into my own bed.”

Rex snorted softly, “Of course, General.” There words were light, but Obi-Wan could still sense the worry in the man beside him.

“I’m fine, Captain.” He sighed, “Just very tired.” Rex’s arm slid around his waist and Obi-Wan put his arm over the man’s shoulder. “Tell me about your leave?” He requested. Rex nodded and as they slowly made their way to Obi-Wan’s rooms started regaling Obi-Wan with stories about the misadventures that he and the other men had gotten up to while on Naboo.

Finally they made it to his rooms and Rex helped him back towards his bedroom. Obi-Wan blinked in surprise to see his own Commander asleep in his bed. That was a sight he had never imagined he’d see. His eyes glanced around the room, taking it in, Cody’s armor was on his desk, along with Rex’s. It seemed his commander and the captain had commandeered his rooms. He frowned, he couldn’t imagine why, he knew that there were rooms available to the clones, in fact he had helped in making sure that they would be up and ready for when the clones started returning from leave, and he knew for a fact that they would have been nicer than his current rooms, he and Plo had done their best to make sure that they were comfortable and welcoming. Obi-Wan still hadn’t gotten around to doing so for his own rooms.

Cody shifted as they entered the room, waking up slightly and raising himself to his elbow. “Rex? Is your shift over?” Obi-Wan decided not to think too much about what it meant that the men had made a rotation for staying at his bedside. He hadn’t meant to worry them, hadn’t meant to worry anyone. Cody’s eyes landed on Obi-Wan and he halted. “General.” The title was breathed out in surprise, but there was no mistaking the relief the man felt. 

“Cody,” The man started to push himself out of the bed and Obi-Wan waved his hand at him to stop. “Oh, don’t get up on my account, I have some spare blankets here somewhere that I can grab for the couch.”

Cody looked aghast, “Sir!”

Obi-Wan shook his head, “There isn’t room for two men on the couch, and I’m hardly going to try and make you find somewhere else where the two of you can sleep in the middle of the night.” Cody blushed and Obi-Wan could feel Rex fidget from where he was still supporting Obi-Wan. He grinned at the two of them, “Although, if the two of you have been up to your regular activities I hope you remembered to clean the sheets.”

Cody blushed further. It was strangely endearing. Cody was nearly never flustered, but Obi-Wan supposed having his General insinuate that he’d been having sex in Obi-Wan’s bed with his lover would be special circumstance enough for it.

Rex sputtered, “We haven’t!”

“Haven’t cleaned the sheets? Oh dear.” He laughed, he could feel both men’s embarrassment.

Cody cleared his throat, “Haven’t had sex.”

“I didn’t realize that anyone other than the Vod’e knew.” Rex commented quietly.

Obi-Wan chuckled, “Really, first Anakin and Padme, and now you two… I’m hardly as blind as everyone seems to think. Although, I doubt Anakin knows, and while Ahsoka is no longer quite so young and naive as she once was, I don’t think she’s aware either.” He’d known though, although he tried not to think to much on how he had picked up on it. He yawned, “But really, I’m about ready to take another 31 day nap.” Both men flinched at that and he reminded himself that it was probably too soon to make jokes about his short coma. He nudged Rex, “You go join Cody, I can make my own way to the couch.” No matter that he felt even worse than he had after he'd woken up.

Rex didn’t move away, “First, I’m fairly certain you’d fall over. And second, you aren’t sleeping on your own couch. And third,” he hesitated, “We’ve been very worried about you, sir.”

Cody nodded, and Obi-Wan hesitated, glancing between the man on his bed and the man holding most of his weight. Both of them were looking at him, still worried, still protective. He knew that the clones often piled together after difficult battles in order to have that physical reassurance that they were all alive and okay, he understood that that was what this was. It wouldn't be a sign of how pathetic he was, how weak he was, not to them. He gave a small nod.

With a little more help from Rex he ended up between the two men. They both seemed to radiate heat and Obi-Wan didn’t even try to deny to himself how comforting it was to have someone there, it soothed some part of him that had been feeling cold and lonely. Although he firmly kept himself from thinking about how much he had wanted this, these two men, on either side of him. It was for one night, and neither man was even remotely interested in him the way he had found himself drawn to them. Still, there was nothing wrong with enjoying the way the two men curled around him, creating a protective barrier between him and the outside world.

He allowed himself to relax, let Cody pull him closer, let Rex slide nearer, one arm over his waist so he could link his and Cody’s fingers together. This would be the only time this would ever happen and he did his best to memorize how it felt.

Slowly, finally, he fell asleep, and for the first time since the war had ended he didn’t dream. There were no temples burning, no Jedi dying to the whispers of ‘Execute Order 66’, no dead younglings, no Anakin with yellow eyes, burning and screaming, no deep regulated breathing from a monster in black. Just sweet silence.


	7. Alone and Helpless, Like You've Lost Your Mind (But You'll Be Alright)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to update this last week... But life got away from me. Updating may be a bit sporadic for the next few weeks on both this story and my other stories, I've got some pretty big projects due nearly every week for the next six weeks.
> 
> Anyways, here is the next chapter, please enjoy!

Rex woke up to General Kenobi trying to slip stealthily out of his and Cody’s hold. “What are you doing, General?” He asked, still half asleep. He curled an arm more tightly around the man. 

The man froze before turning towards him, “I’ve apparently been neglecting my duties for the past three ten-days. I need to report to the council, figure out where I’m needed, what I need to do.”

Rex was suddenly fully awake. “No.”

The General blinked at him. “No?” He sounded confused, as though he couldn’t possibly understand what Rex meant.

A deep, sleep-laden voice spoke up from the other side, “That’s right, General, no.”

General Kenobi sighed, “I did hear what he said, Commander. I just don’t understand the reason for it. Healer Che admitted last night that now that I’m awake there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with me, which means that there is no reason for me to neglect my duties any further.”

Rex rolled his body so that he could lean over the General. “You still have dark circles under your eyes. You aren’t allowed to go back to work until those are gone.”

“And until you’ve gone back to a healthy weight.” Cody added.

The General rolled his eyes, “I’m fine.”

Cody shifted until he was next to Rex, holding himself up with one arm to get a better vantage point over the General. “You aren’t.” Cody’s voice went hoarse, “And I can’t handle having to watch you lay there, pale, hooked up to an I.V. and unresponsive. You aren’t fine, and none of us are going to pretend that you are, and we aren’t going to let you pretend either.”

Rex watched the General’s eyes soften as he looked at his brother, “I am sorry, Cody, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Cody nodded, “I know, you never mean to. But please General, let us take care of you for a little bit before you throw yourself into work again.”

The General hesitated. “I still need to inform the council that I’m better. I also need to contact Anakin, let him know.”

The mention of General Skywalker made Rex groan, “General Skywalker is going to kill me.”

General Kenobi blinked at him, “Why?”

Rex grinned ruefully, “When you woke up last night I sent a message to Boil, he had the shift after mine, and he promised to tell the rest of the 212th and the 501st that are on Coruscant. I might have forgotten to send a message to General Skywalker, and he won’t be happy that he didn’t know immediately.”

Obi-Wan laughed, “Nonsense, he didn’t need to be woken up in the middle of the night to hear that his former Master had woken up just to go back to sleep.”

Rex raised an eyebrow, “We are talking about the same General Skywalker, right?”

Kenobi rolled his eyes, “Unless he’s suddenly sprouted a twin, I imagine so.”

“Then we do remember that General Skywalker can become rather intense when people he cares about are hurt?”

General Kenobi gave a full-body flinch and both clones paused. That had been an unusual reaction, and the way his eyes had gone distant was not a comforting sign. “General?” Cody prodded quietly.

“Yes Commander?” His voice sounded almost hoarse, and the dark circles under his eyes seemed to have gotten more prominent, or   
perhaps he had grown paler.

Cody glanced at him and Rex frowned back. Something was very wrong. They traded concerned looks, trying to decide if they should push the matter. “Would you like some tea?”

“Tea?” The General started laughing, his body shaking, “Tea? That’s what started this whole thing in the first place. I just wanted to relax, drink some tea, and then… then I kept seeing things, things that didn’t happen, but could have, and I was so tired… so so tired. And I didn’t know what to do, I just wanted a bit of tea.” The General moved suddenly, pulling himself out from where the two of them were hovering over him, he curled into himself, hands going to his hair, pulling lightly. “And then, for the past 31 days, that’s all I’ve seen. The temple burning, Anakin turning, you were all gone. And I was there, alone. Everything was so wrong. And I can’t get the images out of my mind. I see Padme dying, Anakin screaming, I’m falling from a cliff and I never understand why.” The General was breathing heavily, and Rex could see his hands turning white as he gripped his hair tighter. 

He hesitated for a brief moment, he didn’t understand what the General was saying, didn’t understand what he meant. But he knew that he had to stop whatever it was. He reached out and gripped the man’s shoulders, pulling him slightly, the man let himself be moved and Rex rested his head against the others forehead. “Breathe. Breathe General.” He felt Cody move until he was behind the General, he remembered he and Cody doing this same thing with younger brothers after their first battle. “We’ve got you, General. We’re here. You’re here.” The General reached out with one hand and gripped his shoulder, Rex ignored the short nails biting into his shoulder blade, “Breathe with me, General.” The General shook his head slightly, his breathing still ragged. “Breathe with me, Obi-Wan.”

Cody’s voice was quiet from behind the man, “Breathe, Obi-Wan. We’re here. We’ve got you. Whatever it is, whatever you saw, it’s not here, you’re not there.”

Slowly the man calmed down, slumping slightly so that he was practically collapsed on top of Rex. Rex didn’t move, unwilling to do anything that might make the Jedi startle or pull away before he was ready.

Finally after several minutes the General pulled away, “I apologize. That was…” He shook his head, “I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t. Don’t apologize.” 

The General nodded but Rex could see something close to shame in his eyes.

“You don’t have to tell us what that was about. But if you need to talk to someone, we’re both here.” Cody said quietly.

The General hesitated, “I…” He stopped, “I think I need to.” He was quiet for a long moment, “Ever since that night we faced the Chancellor… I’ve been seeing things, at first I thought it was just stress, that it was my fears of what could have happened. But it’s not. As far as I can tell it looks as though it’s visions of what might have been, I think I stayed on Utapau, and I wasn’t there when Anakin and Mace were facing the Chancellor, and Anakin, he was desperate to save Padme from dying. He stopped Mace from killing the Chancellor, pledged himself to Palpatine, and then the Chancellor set order 66 in motion.” He turned his head slightly, his face apologetic as he looked at Cody, “You shot a canon at me, knocked me down from a cliff. Anakin took the 501st and marched on the temple. Within almost no time at all the entirety of the Jedi order was destroyed. I… I don’t think I ever learned why, I never learned about the chips, I spent the rest of my life thinking you had really turned, had really chosen to kill me, chosen to massacre the Jedi. I went after Anakin, I needed to know the truth, to know if he had really marched on the temple, turned to the Sith… killed Younglings. And he had, he almost killed Padme, and I fought him…” The General shuddered, “I left him to die. I can’t believe I did that, but I did. And then Padme died, and…” He shook his head. “Almost everything else is in fragments, but that… all of that, it felt so very real sometimes. I saw it every night, and then I saw flashes of it during the day, and then I collapsed and that was all I saw for 31 days, I watched myself die, watched Anakin kill me. I watched his son face him and the emperor. It was all on repeat… and then I woke up. Last night was the first night that I managed to sleep without seeing it all in my dreams.”

Rex felt something close to horror come over him. It was all too easy to see how that very future could have happened. If the former Chancellor had managed to activate the chips in all of the clones, and not just Cody’s. It was harder to imagine General Skywalker turning on the Jedi. Turning on General Kenobi. But he also couldn’t look at the distress on General Kenobi’s face and tell him that his fears were unfounded.

Cody moved first, gently turning the General until the two of them were mimicking what Rex had done earlier, putting the two of them forehead to forehead. “I’m sorry.” He whispered quietly, “That you had to see that. I’m sorry that you’ll never unsee it.” Cody gave him a soft smile, one that Rex knew was kept in reserve for those that Cody loved, one that Rex had never seen Cody give to anyone but him. He wasn’t surprised to see it now. He and Cody had always known how the other felt about this man in between them. “But it isn’t this reality, and it never will be. The Jedi are still alive, and you aren’t ever going to be alone.” Cody gave the General, and Rex figured that he should probably start mentally calling him Obi-Wan if Cody was pulling out that smile, a wry grin, “I think you’ve proved that you can’t survive without me, so I’ll have to stick around.”

Obi-Wan laughed, and it was still hoarse, but it was almost genuine, “I did survive the first three decades of my life until you showed up.”

Rex and Cody both froze slightly, each remembering the small tidbits of information they’d discovered about the General’s past.

Obi-Wan straightened, “Why do I suddenly have a very bad feeling?”

Rex and Cody exchanged glances, “Tea?” Rex suggested, not meeting the jedi’s eyes.

“Rex, Cody, what else happened while I was in a coma?”

Rex sighed, “We learned a little more about you… about your life before us.”

The General narrowed his eyes, “We as in the two of you, or…” He trailed off.

“Well, the two of us, General Skywalker, Senator Amidala, Ahsoka, Kix, Boil, Echo… several more of the men. Um… Well, pretty much all of the 212th and the 501st have at least somewhat more of an inkling, Kix might have been ranting about it at one point and it’s sort of snow-balled from there.”

“Why? And what?” The General sounded a strange mixture of horrified and astounded.

“The what’s actually pretty easy, we’ve got almost no details since so far we’ve only been looking through the files and there weren’t as many reports as we’d like. And… well, we actually have a lot of questions. And why? Because you collapsed into a coma that you wouldn’t wake up from and General Yoda told General Skywalker that he needed to understand you better.”

Obi-Wan groaned, “That troll just doesn’t know how to stop meddling.” He sighed, “You know what, I think you were right earlier, we’re going to ignore everything you just said and pretend we ended it with the suggestion to go get tea.” He hesitated, “Although, I would ask that… that you don’t mention what happened earlier to anyone else. Especially not to Anakin.”

Rex hesitated and looked to Cody, Cody glanced back at him and then they both stared at the man still seated between them. He remembered seeing the man curled in on himself, hyperventilating, hurting and lost. He imagined General Skywalker’s reaction to what had happened, to what Obi-Wan had seen. “I won’t tell.”

Cody nodded, “Neither will I.”

Obi-Wan nodded, “Thank you.” He paused, “Both of you, for that, and for helping to ground me earlier.”

Rex smiled, “Always, General.”

Obi-Wan smiled at him again and moved to climb off the bed, and then grimaced, “Actually, I’m feeling rather uncivilized, you two are free to get tea, but I need to shower.”

Rex watched as the General moved carefully, he still looked pale, and he was moving slower than normal, but he was doing better than he’d been doing the night before, and he was awake.

“We’ll make you breakfast.”

Obi-Wan waved a hand as he grabbed clothes from his closet, “That’s hardly necessary, plus I’m not sure there’s any actual food in this place.”

Cody snorted, “That was true, but we stocked up.”

Obi-Wan paused in surprise, “Oh.” He blinked at the two of them, looking throughly confused, “Breakfast… would be nice?” 

Rex smiled at the confusion in the statement. “Cody’s actually quite good at cooking.”

Obi-Wan turned to stare at Cody, “Really?”

“No need to sound so surprised, General.”

“No, it’s just…” He hesitated, “I didn’t know that.”

“I experimented with the rations sometimes, which you’d know if you ever ate…” Obi-Wan opened his mouth, probably to blatantly lie and pretend that he did eat, but Cody kept talking, “And then Senator Amidala gave us the opportunity to experiment while we were on Naboo.”

The General blinked, “Well, I look forward to trying it.” He moved towards the fresher.

Rex grinned, and glanced at Cody, “Are you going to need any help?” He asked, keeping his voice innocent.

The General stopped again, and Rex and Cody watched in amusement as he blushed, “No, thank you Rex, but I think I can manage the shower on my own.”

Rex nodded and gave the General an innocent smile. “Of course, sir, just checking.”

Obi-Wan blushed again and his pace was somewhat faster as he finished making his way to the fresher.

Cody waited for the water to start running before turning towards Rex, there was a amused look on his face. “Really, Rex?”

“Are you suggesting you wouldn’t be willing to help the General?” He asked innocently.

“Are you…” Cody paused, “Are you flirting with the General?”

Rex smiled softly and kissed the other man before drawing back, “You’re in love with him, Cody. You’ve been in love with him for a long time.”

Cody raised an eyebrow, “That’s a bit like the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Exactly. You love him, I love him. I don’t know how the General feels, but I’d like to find out, see if there’s any way he feels something for us.”

Cody sighed and then kissed him, “I love you, Cyare.”

“I know.”

Cody gave him a light push and rolled his eyes. “I’m going to go make breakfast.” He started walking away.  
Rex grinned and followed after him.

~~~~~

General Kenobi was still in the fresher when General Skywalker came flying through the door. “Where is he?” His eyes were wide and somewhat wild, “Healer Che said he left the Ward last night.”

Rex flinched internally, “He’s in the shower, sir.”

General Skywalker turned towards him, anger reverberating around him “And why didn’t you comm me the moment he woke up!”

“I asked him not to.” All three men turned towards the sound of Obi-Wan’s voice. He was leaning against the wall in what Rex assumed was supposed to be a casual stance, although it might have also been his way of keeping himself supported after moving too quickly. He was also only half dressed, his tunics still in his hand. Rex guessed that he had felt Skywalker’s presence and decided that it was more important to head off his temper than to finish dressing.

Skywalker gaped, “You told him not to? Why would you do that?” He sounded hurt.

Obi-Wan gave a soft smile, “Not for any of the horrible reasons you’re currently concocting. I certainly hope it hasn’t escaped your notice, but you and Padme are still parents to two young infants, who probably haven’t learned to sleep through the night yet. I didn’t want to steal any more sleep from you then you were already losing.” He paused, “Plus, I wanted to comm you myself to reassure you, and I wasn’t quite feeling up to it last night.”

Skywalker frowned petulantly, and Rex got the feeling he had completely forgotten about his and Cody’s presence,”Then why didn’t you com me this morning?”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, “I wanted to look a little more civilized when I commed you.” He gestured with his tunic, “As you can see, that didn’t end up happening.”

Skywalker laughed a little at that, and moved toward his former master, Rex watched as Obi-Wan blinked in surprise as he was enfolded in a large hug.

Skywalker drew back after a long moment and frowned, “I can count your ribs.”

Rex did a double take and focused on General Kenobi’s uncovered chest, he heard Cody growl slightly. General Skywalker was right, Rex hadn’t noticed earlier because he’d been grateful that Obi-Wan had appeared to distract his General (and had also pointedly not looked because it hadn’t really seemed an appropriate time to ogle), but now that he was paying more attention he could see that Obi-Wan was more than just skinny. 

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, and started pulling his tunic on, “You’re exaggerating. I’m fine, Anakin.”

Anakin started pacing, “You should move in with me and Padme. You’ve obviously proved you can’t take care of yourself, and Padme has extra rooms.”

“I’m not moving in with you and Padme, Anakin.”

Anakin ignored him, “It would be good for you, you’ll like it, and then I’ll be around more if you need me, and then the Council might not demand as much of you and you’ll get to spend time with the twins…”

“Anakin.” Skywalker paused, and Obi-Wan continued, “It is a very kind offer, but I’m not going to move in with you and Padme.”

“Why not?” And there was the petulant pout again.

Obi-Wan sighed, “Because I don’t want to move, Anakin. I enjoy being in the temple.”

General Skywalker scowled. “I don’t like it.”

“Yes, well you aren’t the one who gets to decide.”

“You shouldn’t be alone.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, “Anakin, I realize that you’ve been worried about me, and I am sorry for that, but you must realize that you’re overreacting.”

Skywalker spluttered, “I went on leave and you landed yourself in a coma. How am I overreacting?”

Obi-Wan sighed, “I really don’t want to get into an argument about this, Anakin. I appreciate the offer, and I would love to visit and spend time with you, Padme, and the twins, but I’m not going to move in with you.”

Skywalker scowled, “I still don’t think you should be alone right now.”

“Force, Anakin. I am not a child. I have quite sufficiently learned my lesson. I’ll eat, I’ll sleep, I’ll take care of myself. Now, I’m very hungry and it smells as though Cody has made something delicious. So if you don’t mind I would like to have breakfast now.”

Skywalker muttered something under his breath but trailed after Obi-Wan as he moved towards the kitchen to grab several plates. “Ooh, omelet. I may have to hire you on to cook me breakfast every morning, Cody. It looks and smells fantastic.”

Rex grinned as Cody gave their General a pleased smile. “It tastes good too, sir.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” He turned towards Rex, holding out a plate, “So Cody has quite successfully managed to keep his excellent culinary skills under wraps, can I ask what secret talents you’ve been keeping hidden, Rex?”

Rex smiled, and took the proffered plate to grab his own breakfast, “You’ll just have to wait and see, sir.”


	8. The Habit of Breaking (And How Those Habits Start)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking into Obi-Wan's past has brought up more questions than it has answers. Questions that his friends really want the answers to. Fortunately, Bant Eerin and Quinlan Vos are around to start giving some actual answers. Unfortunately Anakin and company might not like the answers they get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! This story is actually being updated! I know, it's a complete and utter shock, who would have thought? What can I say, miracles do happen.
> 
> Unfortunately the past year has pretty much just been one major writer's block after the other when it comes to this story. Fortunately I made it past that little matter.
> 
> I do warn that this chapter is a little bit critical of certain members and aspects of the Jedi Order. As it is, I do love the Jedi, and I hope that this story will show it. That's just not happening this chapter. :D

General Skywalker waited until after breakfast when Obi-Wan had retreated into his room to grab his cloak to inform them that General Eerin and General Vos had agreed, somewhat reluctantly, to speak with he and Senator Amidala about Obi-Wan’s earlier years.

“I was going to say the two of you should come since neither of you had a shift in the Halls of Healing this morning.” He glanced guiltily towards the bedroom Obi-Wan had retreated into. “But, uh, maybe one of you should stay with Obi-Wan and, you know, make sure he doesn’t drop by until this afternoon.” He frowned. “Or worse, let the Council give him more work to do.”

Cody exchanged a glance with Rex. While they had spoken with the General about not going straight back to work and his General had somewhat agreed, they had gotten distracted by other matters before they could get a more solid promise out of him. It would be very easy for the General to fall back into his old habits, especially since Cody had a feeling Obi-Wan would be looking for a distraction from everything he’d admitted earlier.

Cody was torn. He didn’t particularly want to leave his General’s side right now, but he wasn’t quite ready to be alone with him either. Not for the first time he cursed the former Chancellor’s very existence; if not for him and his thrice-damned chips this would have never been a problem and Cody wouldn’t be afraid of what he might do. 

Rex seemed to see the conflict in his eyes because his own went gentle with understanding. “I’ll spend the morning with the General. Hopefully you’ll be done with your meeting by lunch and then the three of us can go to lunch together.”

“You can bring him to mine and Padme’s for lunch,” General Skywalker suggested.

Cody hesitated, unsure. “Not to say that isn’t a good idea,” he said slowly, thinking it really didn’t seem like one. “But we don’t know what General Eerin and General Vos have to tell us. It might be best if we have a cooling down period before General Kenobi comes over.”

General Skywalker flinched and hesitated, but seemed to understand Cody’s point because he nodded. “I’ll get him to come spend tomorrow with us.” His face went determined again. “I bet some time with the twins will remind him why coming to stay with us would be a good idea.”

Cody was less sure about that, but he figured that was an argument he’d let the two Generals have later. He’d intercede if General Skywalker refused to accept his own General’s decision, but hopefully that wouldn’t be a problem. Though Cody wouldn’t make a bet on General Skywalker being that reasonable.

His General came back out of the room, fully dressed in a complete Jedi outfit with his arms crossed in front of him, hands hiding in the sleeves of his robe. He looked just as he had during the War and it sent a pang through Cody at how easily the man hid his pain behind small smiles and Jedi robes. Or perhaps Cody had never had the opportunity to know the General when he wasn’t hiding pain, and all he’d ever seen was the mask. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Rex moved towards him, “I was wondering if you’d like to come visit the 501st and 212th with me. Cody has something he has to deal with this morning, but I thought it’d be good for your men to see you. I’m honestly a little surprised they haven’t camped outside your doors now that they know you’re awake. And hopefully Kix will be around and he can quickly check you over.” 

Obi-Wan raised a single eyebrow and Cody knew he was perfectly well aware that Rex was trying to distract him. His General ran his eyes over the three of them, and his nose scrunched a little when he realized why they were trying to distract him. Cody blamed it on General Skywalker’s fidgeting and the way he suddenly wasn’t meeting Obi-Wan’s eyes. Thankfully his General didn’t say anything about it, and instead allowed them to get away with it, for now. “That would be lovely, Captain. I’d like to see how the men like their accommodations.” His eyes went sad. “There was a great deal more space available in the Temple than there was before the War. It will be nice for that space to be filled again.”

“They’ve said only good things,” Cody reassured him. “But perhaps, after I finish up this morning, since you’ve yet to unpack, we can help you with that.”

General Skywalker sent him a betrayed look at that, but Cody ignored him. His General’s comfort was more important than General Skywalker getting his way. Obi-Wan sent him a warm smile. “I would appreciate the help.” He turned towards Rex. “I need to meet with Master Windu before we go visit the men, you may join me if you’d like, or I can find you afterwards.”

Cody knew Rex probably wouldn’t have let Obi-Wan go off on his own, but even if he had been so inclined, the way General Skywalker was glaring daggers at him would have been sufficient to convince him to change his mind. “I’ll join you, if you don’t mind.”

Obi-Wan was doing his thing where he was observing the entirety of the room and pointedly ignoring the not so subtle exchanges. Subtle had never been General Skywalker’s forte. “Of course I don’t mind.” He gave Rex a soft smile and Cody wasn’t jealous, he wasn’t, but he found himself wishing he could avoid the meeting with General Eerin and General Vos and just stay here with his brother and his General instead.

He was tempted to do it anyways. General Yoda and General Skywalker may feel that it was important to understand the past and the role it played in Obi-Wan’s present, and Cody understood that, but he thought it would be far easier, now that his General was awake, to just talk with the man, rather than all of this sneaking around. But, he also knew that General Skywalker was determined to stick with his chosen method, and it was far better that they stayed in the loop, so to speak, so they could try to minimize the collateral damage when the confrontation between the two General inevitably occurred.

After General Kenobi left with Rex by his side, General Skywalker let out a long breath. “Right,” he turned towards Cody. “I thought you were supportive of Obi-Wan moving out of here.” He gestured to the barren quarters. “I know you and Rex disapprove.”

Cody shrugged as they both left the quarters and headed to where Skywalker had left his speeder. “It’s not so much the location we disapprove of as the lack of personalization he’s done to make the rooms his own.” He didn’t look at General Skywalker, keeping his eyes forward, “And I don’t think moving in with you and Senator Amidala will help with that any.” If anything it would make it worse, in Cody’s opinion. Obi-Wan would likely never be willing to do anything that would impose his presence, and so he would never make any part of the Senatorial suite his own. It sometimes amazed him that he and the rest of his brothers could understand things as simple as making a place your home while the Jedi, who had so much more experience of life outside of war, seemed to fail to understand. But then, he and his brothers had so little that they could call their own that it was instinctive for them to make what things they did have theirs, be it their appearance, their armor, or their bunks. Having entire rooms, shared though they might be, to call their own was an extravagance his brothers were enjoying with great glee.

“It’s the people that are important though. It’s being close to the people you care about.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong, not completely at least. “He doesn’t have to live with you to be close.” He would think that General Skywalker would relish the idea of having his home with the Senator just for them, away from the Jedi and his responsibilities to them. This was probably a sign of the possessive streak Obi-Wan had always seemed worried about, which was even more reason for Obi-Wan to enforce this particular boundary. He didn’t think General Skywalker always recognized that sometimes he was a major source of Cody’s General’s stress.

“He shouldn’t be alone.”

Cody wondered how exactly Rex and Cody literally sharing Obi-Wan’s bed constituted Obi-Wan being alone. But then, he wasn’t sure if that was something that was going to last long term, and either way, he wasn’t sure that was something that he wanted General Skywalker to be aware of yet. “Perhaps the two of you will be able to come to some sort of compromise.”

General Skywalker made a face at that, as though the idea of compromising was distasteful. There was a reason it was General Kenobi who was called the Negotiator and not General Skywalker.

They made it to the speeder and thankfully the conversation closed, Cody didn’t know exactly how he was supposed to make it clear to General Skywalker that Obi-Wan was allowed a life outside of him. It occurred to him that that had never really been an issue for the General. From what he understood from listening to his own General, General Skywalker had been Obi-Wan’s Padawan from the moment he joined the Jedi. Then the War had started before he was knighted, had been one of the main reasons General Skywalker was knighted when he was. Even then, the 212th and the 501st had found themselves working together often, and General Skywalker and General Kenobi had often taken missions away from the battalions together. While the War had changed their dynamic, and the addition of Commander Tano had shifted it even further, General Skywalker had still been a major focus in Obi-Wan’s life, and Obi-Wan had remained a major foundation for General Skywalker to build on.

He did not think General Skywalker was prepared for what it potentially meant to be a Knight outside of the War.

Or rather Cody thought that General Skywalker wasn’t prepared for what it potentially meant for Obi-Wan to not be his Master anymore. He wondered if his own General was prepared for what it meant, and the inevitable shifts in his relationships. General Kenobi did seem to be the more practical of the two of them, but, well, that wasn’t saying much when the comparison was General Skywalker.

General Skywalker parked the speeder and Cody joined him in entering the Senator’s apartments. The Senator and the General shared a kiss that Cody politely ignored as it grew somewhat more passionate than their thirty minute separation necessitated. He nodded to Boil, who had once again beat out the rest of the 212th for the right to be here, and Echo who after having been recovered from the Seppies tended to get his way more often than not.

He sat next to Boil. “Anything of interest to report?”

Boil shook his head, a small smile on his lips, “The 212th is doing just as well as they were yesterday, Sir.” Cody could possibly admit to himself that General Skywalker wasn’t the only one who wasn’t prepared for what it meant for the war to be over. He had been born and bred for war, been trained and groomed for command. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to shake the sense of responsibility he felt for his brothers.

He turned to Echo, “And the 501st?”

Echo nodded, “Currently considering waging a prank war against the 212th in order to ensure the 212th don’t all lose their touch.”

Boil glared, “I think Sinker would consider the water over his head the first attack.”

Echo’s smile was sharp, “Sinker hasn’t seen anything yet.”

“Just don’t destroy the Temple.” Cody told them. It was an unfortunate fact, that as Commander, he wasn’t often allowed to join in on the different shenanigans that his brothers engaged in, but it also meant the men couldn’t include him as one of their targets.

“The Temple survived General Kenobi, General Skywalker, and Commander Tano in their formative years as Commanders, I don’t think that even our two battalions could take down the temple if those three didn’t.”

“Imagine if they had all been Commanders at the same time.” Echo asked, his voice hushed in awe at the pure destructive ability the three of them would have been capable of together. Cody had to admit that if you took General Skywalker’s intensity, Commander Tano’s insanity, and General Kenobi’s ingenuity, and added to it the more excitable nature that seemed inherent to Jedi Commanders… well, yes, the three of them would probably have been a force to be reckoned with.

As it was, General Kenobi’s sense of responsibility kept the three of them in check.

Boil nodded, but switched the subject, “Did you know, Commander Wolffe convinced General Koon to take quarters closer to the Wolfpack and the rest of the 104th?”

Cody looked up, “Did he?” That wasn’t exactly a simple move, General Koon’s rooms had to be tailored to make it more comfortable for his Kel Dor physiology.

Boil nodded, “Wolffe said that General Koon said he wouldn’t have wanted to impose his presence on his men, but he caved pretty quickly when the 104th asked.”

Echo hummed, “The 501st obviously doesn’t have a General to ask.” He sent a glance at where General Skywalker and the Senator were whispering to each other. “But we’re going to try and convince Commander Tano to come back.”

Cody tilted his head, he imagined that the Council would accept her back if she decided to come back. The combined forces of General Koon and General Kenobi would make sure of that.

“And we’ve kept a set of quarters open near the 212th’s area.”

“Which is also the 501st’s area.” Echo muttered.

Boil ignored him, “Ostensibly it’s for you and Captain Rex.”

Cody frowned, “We don’t need a set of quarters just for the two of us.”

Boil and Echo exchanged looks, “Playing dumb doesn’t really suit you, Commander.” Echo said dryly.

“If you don’t ask him to move closer to us, one of the other men will.” Boil said, not saying who the ‘him’ in question was, but Echo was right, Cody wasn’t dumb. “But then you won’t be able to ask him to move in with you.”

Cody didn’t blush, he wouldn’t give his brothers that victory. “Rex and I haven’t been that obvious.”

Boil snorted, “The two of you pine, and not nearly as subtly as you seem to think you do.” Cody didn’t think that that deserved a response, because it was true, and that did not need to be admitted. He and Rex were both very good at pining.

“Who’s pining?” Commander Tano asked as she came bounding out of one of the hallways, a bright smile on her face.

“Good morning Commander Tano.” Cody gave her a small nod.

“Did someone say that someone was pining?” Cody turned to see General Vos entering, a Mon Calamari Cody didn’t know behind him. Senator Amidala and General Skywalker reentered the room behind them, having obviously let them into the apartments. The Kiffar was waggling his eyebrows in what Cody thought was supposed to be a seductive way, though it mainly served to make the General look ridiculous.

“I don’t think that’s any of our business, Quinlan.” The Mon Calamari smiled at them, and Cody quickly stood, his brothers right behind him.

“Generals.” He gave them a nod. His brothers both echoing the greeting behind him.

The Mon Calamari, likely the General Eerin that Skywalker had said was coming, shook her head. “I’m no General. You can call me Bant.” Cody wasn’t sure how to politely tell her that that seemed highly disrespectful, and that he didn’t quite feel familiar enough with her to use her given name. The General seemed to correctly interpret the look on his face, because she smiled, “Or Healer Bant if that’s too familiar for you.”

Cody nodded, still somewhat hesitant. “Of course, sir.”

General Vos scoffed, “No wonder you get along with Obi-Wan so well. Too serious, both of you.”

Healer Eerin, because Healer Bant still seemed too informal for a Jedi he didn’t personally know, sent General Vos an exasperated look. “Are you still harping on about that?”

“I’m never going to stop harping on about that.”

“You’re just jealous Obi-Wan had all of the Masters convinced he was perfect.”

“Why would I be jealous of that?” Quinlan shuddered exaggeratedly, “That means they’d have expectations of me. And Obi-Wan hated being called the perfect Padawan.”

General Skywalker sat down, “So he wasn’t the perfect Padawan?”

The two Jedi exchanged a look, “That’s somewhat more complicated than a simple yes or no.”

Senator Amidala took a seat next to her husband. “Before we get into whether or not Obi-Wan is perfect.” General Vos snorted and Healer Eerin laughed, Cody just exchanged knowing glances with his brothers, because perfect might be overstating it, but General Kenobi was probably about as close as it got. “We just wanted to understand what was going on at the beginning of Obi-Wan’s Padawanship. It seems there’s a great deal that Anakin didn’t know, and it doesn’t all make sense.”

The two Jedi exchanged glances again. “To be honest,” Healer Eerin said quietly, “None of us were going to say anything when you first reached out for answers. If Anakin didn’t already know, then that could be because Obi-Wan wasn’t comfortable talking about it.”

“Still not sure it’s any of your business.” General Vos muttered.

General Skywalker looked like he was about to protest that, but Senator Amidala laid a hand on his leg to stop him. Healer Eerin continued, ignoring General Vos’s muttering. “But Master Yoda came and spoke with me, and he seemed to feel that it was important.” She looked skeptical, but the fact that she and General Vos were here indicated that whatever her doubts she was going to answer their questions. 

Senator Amidala nodded, “Of course, we understand. And we wouldn’t be making this inquiry of you if we didn’t think it was important.”

Healer Bant sighed, while General Vos leaned back, body language loudly broadcasting that he was unconcerned, which made Cody think that he was very much concerned. “What exactly were your questions?”

“The Agricorps.” General Skywalker said, rather brusquely, “Tell me he wasn’t really sent to the Agricorps, that has to be a… a clerical error, or something.”

“No,” Healer Eerin said slowly, “That’s true. That happened.”

“But, he’s Obi-Wan? How did the Masters not see that he was supposed to be a Jedi?” General Skywalker seemed so confused, and Cody, who didn’t quite understand how the Jedi Order functioned, agreed with him, he couldn’t understand how anyone could doubt that his General was meant to be a Jedi.

“He was twelve.” Healer Eerin said quietly, “And he was scared.”

“And Master Yoda meddled.” General Vos said, his voice bored.

“We have no proof of that.” Healer Eerin said sharply.

“No, you have no proof. I’ve never mentioned it because Master Yoda ensured that he was the only Master that was really there for Obi-Wan growing up, and it would hurt Obi-Wan to know that someone he respects so much was the reason that Obi-Wan was rejected time and time again, was the reason Obi-Wan was sent away, and was the reason why he was pushed towards a Master who used him time and time again, never appreciated him, and made an art form out of forcing Obi-Wan to clean up after his messes, and then made Obi-Wan feel like the whole thing was his fault, and worse, that he deserved that sort of treatment.”

“Quinlan!”, “What?!”, “Excuse me?”

Cody didn’t join the mess of noise that followed General Vos’s declaration; too busy trying to figure out whether General Vos was being serious. His body language was still broadcasting boredom and unconcern, but the look in his eyes was sharp, angry, and determined. Cody still didn’t know if General Vos was telling the truth, but at the very least General Vos believed what he was saying to be the truth.

“I don’t know why you came along if you were just going to be like this.” Healer Eerin was telling General Vos angrily.

“But…”

General Vos spoke over General Skywalker, “Because someone has to stop pretending that Obi-Wan wasn’t screwed over. And it won’t be Obi-Wan, and it won’t be you.”

“I’m not saying that things were fair…”

“No, but you still pretend it was circumstance, and Bruck being a bully, and Qui-Gon being blind. But it was more than that and if everyone keeps ignoring the problem it’s never going to be fixed.”

“Wait…”

Healer Eerin’s voice cut across the Senator’s. “Just because you dislike the Council and don’t trust Master Yoda, doesn’t mean…”

“This isn’t about me!”

“As though this isn’t about what they put you through!”

“What are they talking about?” Echo whispered to Cody. Cody shrugged, completely at a loss.

Quinlan was arguing back, his voice raising. “I’m saying what happened to me was just a symptom, just like what happened to Ahsoka was a symptom, just like what happened to Obi-Wan twenty years ago was a symptom. We have an opportunity to fix things around here but we’re all too busy pretending things are fine!”

“This isn’t a conspiracy!”

“No, it’s willful blindness!”

“Just because you Fell…”

“Exactly! You’re just as bad as the rest of them! You were supposed to be my friend, I needed you! I needed the Council! But the only person who defended me was Obi-Wan. The only person who was there for me was Obi-Wan. The rest of you were too busy standing on your moral righteousness to see you’re not as righteous as you think you are!”

“What do you mean?”

But General Skywalker’s question was ignored, “Obi-Wan was on the Council, too! Are you blaming him?”

“Well, I’m not saying he’s perfect, but I am saying that for the most part he’s the exception to the rule. He was the only one who helped me. He was the one who came to my quarters whenever we were both on Coruscant to make sure I hadn’t lost my mind. The only one who actually tried to help me pull myself away from the Dark Side. The only one who treated me like I wasn’t the plague!”

“Stop!” Commander Tano was on her feet. “Both of you, stop!”

The whole room froze. Senator Amidala was staring at the two Jedi, her forehead scrunched thoughtfully. Skywalker was on the edge of his seat, his face a mixture of confusion and frustration. Both of his brothers were frozen in their seats, faces blank even as their eyes were wide. Cody felt on edge, he’d seen General Kenobi and General Skywalker argue, had heard General Kenobi and General Vos insult each other, but that had been fondly. He didn’t think he’d ever heard two Jedi devolve into shouting at each other so quickly or vehemently. The worst part was that he didn’t understand half of what the issue was. Healer Eerin took a deep breath and settled back into her seat. “I apologize.”

General Vos just crossed his arms, a mulish look on his face.

Senator Amidala cleared her throat, “Thank you, Ahsoka.”

Commander Tano nodded, but Cody could see that she was shaking, and he remembered General Vos’s shouted accusation that what had happened to Commander Tano was just a symptom of some larger problem.

“I’m not quite sure how this whole conversation degenerated so quickly, but I think perhaps, if we start at the beginning and if the two of you are both willing to explain why things happened the way they did, then maybe the rest of us will be able to make sense of the situation.” Senator Amidala’s voice was quiet but firm, “Sometimes being able to talk out a situation can help things become clearer.”

“Of course.” Healer Eerin straightened, “That argument should have never happened.”

Senator Amidala nodded, “I’m sure that given the situation, what with Obi-Wan having fallen ill, and with the war still so recent, tensions are higher than perhaps they would normally be.”

“That, and Bant and I have never gotten along.” Quinlan said, his voice having returned to it’s pointedly bored tone, “She’s always been uptight.”

Healer Eerin ignored him. “But the Agricorps?” She said, “Is that what you wanted to know more about?”

General Skywalker nodded, “Yeah, and how Obi-Wan of all people could be sent there when he was just meant to be a Jedi.”

“How much do you all know about the process a Temple Initiate goes through to become a Padawan?” Healer Eerin asked.

“I think Ahsoka and Anakin are the only ones who have any real understanding of the process.” Senator Amidala answered.

Cody nodded, “Not exactly something the Kaminoans thought was important for us to know.”

Healer Eerin nodded, “All right, to start an Initiate needs to be claimed by a Master to become a Padawan.” Healer Eerin said slowly, “At the time, there was a cut off age, if an Initiate turned thirteen, or their species’ equivalent, before they could find a Master, then they were sent to one of the Corps.” She flinched, “Generally there’s a process for that, an Initiate will meet with one of the Council Masters and their Creche Master and the three of them will decide which Corp would be the best match for the Initiate.” She sighed, “Or at least that’s how it normally worked.”

“Let me guess, that’s not how it worked for General Kenobi.” Boil snorted, shaking his head with something close to exasperation. Cody recognized the sentiment behind the emotion, General Kenobi often did seem to find himself the exception to the rule, and never in a good way.

Healer Eerin grimaced. “You’re right, almost none of that happened for Obi-Wan.” She sighed, “He was getting closer to his thirteenth birthday, and none of the Masters had chosen him. Tensions were high and he got into an unsanctioned duel with another one of the Initiates, and then that Initiate claimed Obi-Wan had attacked him, and, well, the Council believed him, never even asked for Obi-Wan’s side of the story. They sent him away the next morning.” 

Cody felt a little sick at the thought that the Council would believe Obi-Wan capable of attacking another Initiate, and not even ask for his version of the events. He had thought that that treatment was reserved for the clones, like Dogma. He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that they apparently treated everyone that way.

“Why?” General Skywalker asked, his voice confused. “Why would they do that?”

“Because Master Yoda was meddling.”

“Quinlan.” Healer Eerin started.

“No, I let you tell your version of events, and I didn’t argue, but I get to tell events as I saw them.”

“He has a point.” Senator Amidala interrupted, quietly. “He may have different insight.”

“First off, I was already a Padawan at that point, and Master Tholme was always straightforward with me, and he always did his best to answer my questions.” General Vos started, “And since I was concerned about my friend, Master Tholme kept his ear to the ground. And the idea that none of the Masters were interested in Obi-Wan, that was a lie.”

“But then why did none of them take him?” Echo asked, “If they were interested.” He blushed when half the room turned to look at him and Cody brushed his arm against his in solidarity.

General Vos shrugged, “Master Yoda has always spent a lot of time in the Creche, but he always paid Obi-Wan specific attention. There was a number of Masters and Knights who thought Master Yoda was actually going to take him as his Padawan, and Master Yoda did nothing to dissuade them from thinking so. When Obi-Wan got older and Master Yoda never made a move, there were actually a few Knights and one or two Masters who went to Master Yoda about taking Obi-Wan as their Padawan.” He sent Healer Eerin a pointed look, “And that’s not heresy, Master Tholme spoke with a number of them himself. But Master Yoda always told them no.”

“Why would he do that?” Commander Tano asked, “Didn’t Master Yoda want Obi-Wan to become a Jedi?”

“He did.” General Vos said with a shrug, “But he had decided that Obi-Wan would be able to save Master Jinn, and so he did his best to block any one else from taking Obi-Wan.”

“Save Master Qui-Gon?” General Skywalker asked. “Why would Qui-Gon need saving?”

Healer Eerin was actually the one who answered that, an indelicate snort escaping her, “Because Master Jinn was a bitter man who saw darkness everywhere, but didn’t see he was the one in danger of Falling.”

“Qui-Gon would never Fall!” General Skywalker seemed appalled at the very suggestion. Cody didn’t have much of an opinion either way, mostly he just wished that they would get to the point.

“Anyways…” General Vos interrupted, “When Master Jinn rejected Obi-Wan, because Master Jinn was suffering from delusions of superiority, Master Yoda took the soonest opportunity to push them together again, and instead of defending Obi-Wan against Bruck’s accusations, or allowing Obi-Wan the opportunity to defend himself, he pushed for having Obi-Wan sent to the Agricorps at the soonest opportunity, because Master Jinn just so happened to have been requested for a mission on Bandomeer. He ignored the fact that Obi-Wan wasn’t thirteen, ignored the fact that Obi-Wan would have been better fit for the Educorps or the Exploracorps, and the rest of the Council, well, they heeded his council and allowed it.”

“But it worked.” General Skywalker said, almost desperately, “Qui-Gon realized that Obi-Wan was supposed to be a Jedi, and he took him as his Padawan.”

It was quiet for a long moment and then Healer Eerin spoke, her voice soft. “Not really. It wasn’t quite that simple. I don’t know all of the details, but I do know that Obi-Wan was put in danger by Master Jinn’s old Apprentice, was sold to deep sea miners. And Master Jinn saved him, but he still didn’t accept him, not until…” She looked down.

“Why did General Jinn finally accept him?” Cody asked, a painful lump in his stomach telling him he didn’t really want to know.

“Because Obi-Wan tried to die for him.” She stopped, “That’s not completely accurate. It wasn’t just for Master Jinn, half the planet was in danger, and Obi-Wan had realized that if he used the slave collar around his neck and activated it, it would explode and he could take out the barrier keeping Master Jinn from getting to the master explosive, at the time he had thought it was the only way to get Master Jinn out in time to save everyone. Master Jinn stopped him. But, well, I think it was a very close call.”

“Force.” General Skywalker swore.

Cody blinked a few times, working through the scenario Healer Eerin and General Vos had described. Obi-Wan, sent away from the Jedi, targeted by a former Jedi, and here he pictured someone like Krell, or Dooku, or even Offee, abducted and then sold to the slavers in charge of the deep sea mines. How long had he been there? How long had it taken for Jinn to find him? How long had Obi-Wan spent terrified and trying to hide it?

What had his General been thinking when he had tried to activate the explosive wrapped around his neck?

Cody stood abruptly. He felt like he was going to be sick. He left the room, escaping to the landing pad where General Skywalker’s speeder was still sitting. The fresh air was cool against his face. He pulled his com out, a few moments later Rex’s voice came through. “Captain Rex.”

“Are you with the General?” He knew his voice was curt, abrupt.

“He’s with Kix right now.” Rex said, his voice calm, “Do you need to talk to him?”

Cody desperately wanted to hear his voice, but he also thought he might scream, demanding answers for things that had happened before Cody had even been born. He shook his head, “I just needed to know that he’s okay.”

“He is, vod. The General is fine, better than. He and Sharp were actually regaling us with outlandish stories.” Rex said, “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Cody.” There was an edge of demand to his name. Cody remembered their promises to not keep anything from each other.

“I just…” He shook his head, “I think that maybe the situation was worse than we thought.” He swallowed, “That maybe there are still things that are wrong.” He remembered General Vos saying the problem still wasn’t fixed, that everyone was refusing to admit there was a problem.

“Worse than what the General talked about this morning?”

Cody hesitated, “I don’t know, maybe it’s all the same problem.”

“Is my General doing all right?”

“He’s not happy.”

“You’ll tell me everything later.” It wasn’t a question, rather a statement of fact.

“I will.” He took a deep breath. 

“Then we’ll figure it out.”

Cody nodded, because it always helped to hear Rex say it. “We will.” He stopped, and switched the subject, needing a distraction. “Boil says they have a set of quarters reserved for us.”

“We don’t need a set of quarters for just us.”

“General Koon shifted his quarters closer to the 104th.”

Rex was quiet for a moment, making the connection just as quickly as Cody had. “That’s a big step.” It was a huge step. But maybe they shouldn’t have waited so long. Cody didn’t think they should keep waiting any longer.

“We’ve survived the war, Rex. What else are we going to tell ourselves we need to wait for?”

“Think he’ll say yes?”

Cody closed his eyes, thought about his General, about himself and Rex and the space they’d left open between them. “We won’t know if we don’t ask.”

“Well, you did say we’d help him unpack his things, not going to be a better opportunity than that.”

Cody took a deep breath. “You’re right.” He took a deep breath, heard the quiet sound of Boil and Echo behind him. “Thank you, Rex.” For answering his comm, for being the stable force Cody needed, for knowing what to say.

“Always, Cody.” Cody ended the call, rubbing a hand over his face, feeling the scar that was a visual marker of his individuality, even if it was not one he’d chosen himself.

Boil stepped up next to him, Echo taking the empty spot on his other side. “Didn’t know what I expected the story to be, but I didn’t expect it to be that.”

“We knew there was something off about the situation.” Cody said, “Commander Tano and General Skywalker made that clear from the very beginning.”

“Didn’t think it was going to be due to systematic abuse from authority, though.” Echo said, “I didn’t think they would do that to their own.”

“Will anyone have a problem with High General Yoda?” Cody asked, even though he wasn’t sure what his own answer to that question would be.

Boil sighed, “It sounds like he was trying to protect another Jedi, a member of his line. Like Commander Tano is to General Kenobi.” It wasn’t an answer, it was an attempt to rationalize the situation, to find any way to make it better than it was.

“Are we ever going to talk to General Kenobi about this?” Echo asked.

Cody debated it for a moment, remembered his earlier thoughts that it would be easiest to ask the General, but he could concede that they would never have heard the entire story if they had gone that route, particularly because it seemed that it was possible their General didn’t even know all of it. “Yes.” Because at the very least General Kenobi deserved to know why his past had happened the way it had. Cody choked back the thought of his General Kenobi with a collar around his neck. He remembered Zyggeria, but as awful as that had been, it had been part of a plan. A stupid plan, but there had been a reason.

“Then I’ll reserve judgment.” Meaning at the moment Echo was inclined to not want to have anything to do with the High General, but if General Kenobi had a different side of the story to share, then Echo would reevaluate.

“Did I miss anything?”

Boil shook his head. “No, General Skywalker took off, Senator Amidala is calming him down. I don’t think Commander Tano is faring much better, but she followed General Skywalker, I expect Senator Amidala will focus on her next.”

Cody nodded, accepting that. “And the two of you?”

Boil didn’t respond immediately, “I’d very much prefer it if the General moved into quarters closer to the 212th.”

“How is he doing?” Echo asked. “He only woke up last night.”

Cody sighed, “Captain Rex and I are going to work with him. There’s some Force nonsense at play, but we’re going to handle it.”

“Do you need the rest of the 212th and 501st to do anything?”

“Just help him stay grounded.”

They both nodded, not asking for any more details.

“We should go back in.” Cody said finally. He turned, taking a moment to put a hand to both of his brothers’ shoulders. “Hopefully the rest of the story will be easier to hear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it was Chapter 8! I hope it was enjoyed by you all!
> 
> So much of this chapter is thanks to the wonderful Lys beta'd this chapter and who helped make this chapter so much better than it was originally and for whose help I am immensely grateful.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!
> 
> Same notes as always, no guarantee on when or what will be updated next. But something will be!


	9. Everyone is Made from the Pieces of Their Past (And Then the Past Becomes the Present)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bandomeer, and the reasons why Bandomeer happened, have been explained, and while it may have answered some questions, it's also managed to bring up even more. But if they're expecting the rest of the story to be any easier to hear, they're going to be incredibly disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you know... Another miracle! I didn't make you wait a year for an update! A shock, I am sure.
> 
> As it is, life is... what life is. And it's actually going pretty good. This is my last week of freedom before school starts up again. Someday I'm going to be done with school... but that day is not this day. Unfortunately. Meh. 
> 
> Anyways, my little update is over! 
> 
> On to the story! Please enjoy!

Anakin honestly didn’t know which part of the whole story was the worst. Despite Master Yoda’s warnings, and the hints of something wrong they’d seen in the records, he hadn’t actually thought something would have really been wrong. He’d been angry and confused when he’d found out that Obi-Wan had been sent to the Agricorps, but had convinced himself it was some sort of accident. But now, Force, if Quinlan was right, then his Master had been used, had been treated like a tool to fix Master Qui-Gon (and why? Why did Master Qui-Gon need fixing?). Obi-Wan’s life had been messed with and manipulated in the desperate hope that things would work out the way Master Yoda wanted.

Obi-Wan had been emotionally compromised, and then physically endangered, so Master Yoda could get the results he wanted.

Force, Anakin had never liked Master Yoda, but right now he was furious. He took a moment to be grateful Sabe had taken the twins out for the morning. Both Luke and Leia were incredibly sensitive to his moods, and his fury would have scared them.

But it was worse than just being angry with Master Yoda. In his own mind Master Yoda had always played the role of the villain, so this, it wasn’t a real surprise, but Qui-Gon? Qui-Gon had been the hero, and from what little Bant and Quinlan had already said, that may not be entirely true. Anakin had the sinking feeling that once they really got into Obi-Wan’s story, Qui-Gon’s role as hero was going to be irreparably tarnished. Force, it was already starting to look tarnished.

He felt his wife’s hand run over his shoulder soothingly, and realized he was shaking. He wasn’t sure if he was shaking out of anger, or shock, or fear. It could be a mixture of the three.

_Master Yoda was meddling._

_He had decided Obi-Wan would be able to save Master Jinn._

_Obi-Wan tried to die for him._

Force. This was a mess.

“You okay, Skyguy?” He looked up to see Ahsoka standing there, looking a little pale. Force, after what Ahsoka had just heard, and after Quinlan’s assertion that the same problem that had hurt Obi-Wan had been what had hurt Ahsoka too. She shouldn’t be asking if he was okay, it was Anakin that should be asking that of her.

“I’m fine.” He reached out to Ahsoka and she took a step forward and into a hug. “How about you?”

Ahsoka was shaking a little, “I’m okay. I just…” She shook her head, “I mean, I’ve been angry for a while, and I know I’m not supposed to be, but I am. And now, I guess, I just thought that it was because it was the War, that they wouldn’t play with our lives that way normally. But they did with Master Obi-Wan.” Her voice was shaking, “They’re supposed to protect us. I loved Master Yoda, he was always there in the Creche, and I thought he loved me.” She pressed tighter into his hug. “He was supposed to protect us.” She repeated, “And he… he used Master Obi-Wan. He used me.”

Anakin tightened his hold on his Padawan. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

“I know this is hard.” His wife said quietly, “But we need to keep listening, and for now at least, we need to stay objective.”

Anakin nodded, even though he didn’t know if he wanted to listen to any more, and his objectivity had gone straight out the window, that was if he’d ever been objective in the first place.

Ahsoka pulled away, her face firm, all traces of the hurt he knew she was feeling hidden away. “You’re right.” She took a deep breath, “We should hear everything else they have to share.”

Anakin didn’t want to. He really didn’t want to. But he followed his former Padawan and his wife back into the room. All three clones had returned, and Anakin didn’t blame Cody for needing to take a break, was grateful that Cody had had the presence of mind to stand up and leave. If Cody hadn’t left then Anakin might have forced the issue, and in a much more volatile way than the clone Commander had.

They all settled back into their seats, and Bant and Quinlan stopped their whispered argument. Quinlan was the first one to talk. “Do you really want to hear more? Because a lot of the story follows along the same vein.”

Anakin nodded. “Yes. We need to hear the rest.” They deserved to hear the rest.

Quinlan nodded, “Alright, do you want to move on to Melida/Daan, or do you want me to finish talking about the other instances when Yoda meddled?”

Yoda had meddled more? Who was Anakin kidding? Of course he had.

“The places you think he meddled.” Bant clarified. Anakin didn’t roll his eyes, but it was a close thing. Bant had obviously placed Yoda on a pedestal and couldn’t bear to see him fall off of it. Anakin, at least, had never been so blind.

“No, the rest of the times I’m pretty much positive Yoda meddled, or at least attempted to.” Quinlan tilted his head, “With Master Tholme’s help I was able to understand his reasoning for what happened with Obi-Wan and Master Jinn, everything Yoda did was done in an attempt to help Master Jinn. I’m not always as clear on Yoda’s reasoning for his other meddling, but I do know he did.”

Padme seemed thoughtful, observing the room carefully, the same way he had seen her observe other Senators, calculating the best way to handle a situation while ruffling the least amount of feathers. “Let’s finish hearing about Master Yoda, and then we can move on to Melida/Daan.”

Both Bant and Quinlan exchanged a loaded glance and Anakin suddenly thought Padme’s idea was brilliant, because he didn’t think he was ready to know what secrets hid behind that look. He would much rather focus on Master Yoda.

Quinlan actually looked a little sorry as he turned towards him and Ahsoka. “I’m going to warn you that this strongly affected the both of you.” He hesitated, “And I also want to remind you that the two of you made a good pair.”

Anakin felt sick. “All right.”

“The next time I’m sure Master Yoda tried to meddle was when Obi-Wan tried to take Anakin as his Padawan.” Quinlan hesitated, “Master Yoda did his best to stop him.”

Anakin blinked, he had known the Council hadn’t been happy about him getting trained, that they’d already rejected him once before with Qui-Gon, but he hadn’t realized Obi-Wan had been told no as well.

“Wait, he told Qui-Gon no too, wouldn’t that have been the next time Master Yoda meddled.”

Bant and Quinlan exchanged glances. “Anakin,” Bant started slowly, “Master Jinn wasn’t allowed to take you for a good reason.”

“I wasn’t too old.” Anakin interjected, “Or too angry, or fearful, or whatever other nonsense they said.” He’d proved them wrong. He’d proved all of them wrong.

Bant raised her hands in a gesture of peace. “I’m not going to pretend that the Council handled the situation well, and I’m not in place to say why they made the decisions they did. But they were right to reject Master Jinn’s attempt to take you as a Padawan.”

Anakin was about to lash out, because there was nothing wrong with him, and he deserved to be a Jedi just as much as the rest of them. His wife’s hand on his leg stopped him.

Bant frowned, as though not sure how to go about phrasing why exactly Master Jinn’s attempt to take him on had been right to be rejected. Finally, she turned to Ahsoka, “Ahsoka, if you were still Anakin’s Padawan, and Anakin tried to take another Padawan before you were Knighted, how would you feel?”

“Anakin would never do that to me!” Ahsoka sounded shocked by the very idea of it, outraged even. Anakin was shocked too, he would _never_ do that to Ahsoka, and the idea that Bant would suggest that he would do that was completely out of line.

“And Anakin, how would you have felt if Obi-Wan had done that to you?”

Anakin gaped at her, he would have been devastated if Obi-Wan had done that to him, but that didn’t matter because _Obi-Wan would never have done that to him._

“Beyond the fact that General Kenobi and General Skywalker would obviously never do that, which I believe was the point.” Commander Cody interjected, “What does that have to do with anything?”

Quinlan and Bant exchanged glances, “Master Jinn all but repudiated Obi-Wan in front of the Council. When the Council rejected Master Jinn’s attempt to take Anakin as a Padawan, while I’m sure their reservations about Anakin played a part, for the most part they were refusing to allow Master Jinn to throw Obi-Wan out of the Order.”

Oh. Oh. In all of the years since that day it had never once occurred to Anakin that what had happened in during that meeting with the Council might be seen from that perspective. It had always been the Council that was cruel, and Qui-Gon who was the hero. But from this point of view, the Council wasn’t the only one who had been cruel. Now Anakin was really going to be sick.

“He said Obi-Wan was ready for his trials.” It was a feeble protest. But one Anakin had to make all the same.

It was Ahsoka who answered, her tone just the slightest bit bitter. “The same way the Council said that my being expelled from the Order and put on trial had been the Trials for my Knighthood? Not because they thought so, but because they were trying to save face.”

Bant looked regretful, “Like I said, I don’t think the Council handled your arrival to the Temple well, and while they may have had their reasons, many of which were valid concerns, for not initially accepting you into the Order, they should have handled the situation better. You had just been taken from everything you’d ever known, and you had no control over what was happening to you. I’m sure Master Jinn was trying to help you, and that’s admirable, and maybe he thought it was necessary. But, well, he went about it wrong.” Bant shook her head, “Master Jinn had given his word to both the Order and to Obi-Wan when he accepted Obi-Wan as his Padawan, the same way all Masters do when they take a Padawan, to help him reach his Knighthood.”

“And he broke his word.” Commander Cody said quietly.

Quinlan shrugged, “Tried to. In the end, the Council wouldn’t allow him to go back on his word, but it became a rather moot point when he died and they decided that facing Darth Maul counted as Obi-Wan’s Trials. Which was when Obi-Wan, who had every right to take Anakin as a Padawan, tried to take Anakin as a Padawan and Yoda tried to stop him.”

Anakin didn’t necessarily want to play devil’s advocate, but he had to point it out, especially since they’d just been discussing the Council’s initial decision. “But I hadn’t been accepted into the Order.”

Quinlan shook his head, “Didn’t actually matter. I lucked out when I found Aayla, I was still a Padawan and she was young enough that the Temple accepted her no problem and we were both allowed to wait. Master Narec took Asajj as his Padawan, and if he had actually managed to make it back to the Temple instead of having been killed, then Asajj would have been accepted into the Order no matter how old she was because she already had a Master. If Master Jinn had found a Padawan-less Master and gotten them to claim you, then so long as you weren’t going around hurting anyone, you would have been accepted. Sure, you were older than normal, but there’s precedent that goes back ages. Your problem was that Master Jinn tried to get you accepted as an Initiate because he wanted you as his Padawan. He probably hoped that Obi-Wan would be knighted before you turned thirteen, it was when you weren’t accepted as an Initiate without a Master that his plan fell through. Obi-Wan, however, did have the right to claim you.”

“Right.” Anakin hadn’t ever actually realized any of that, but he also didn’t want to draw attention to how much he sometimes still didn’t understand Temple procedure. “But Yoda told Obi-Wan no.”

“And Obi-Wan ignored him.” Quinlan shrugged, “It doesn’t matter what Yoda’s position in the Order is, if Obi-Wan wanted to take you as his Padawan that was his right. If any of the Knights or Masters had ignored Yoda and taken Obi-Wan as their Padawan when he told them no, he would have been unable to stop them. It was their inability and unwillingness to go against Master Yoda’s wishes that let him get his way.”

“So any Knight can take anyone as their Padawan and get them accepted into the Order?” Padme looked dubious. “That seems dangerous.”

Quinlan shrugged, “There are certain rules. When children outside of the Order are chosen, it has to be with parental consent and the child has to meet the accepted midi-chlorian count. Certain behaviors, from either the Padawan or the Master, can be grounds for a dismissal or a rejection. But being afraid or angry certainly aren’t grounds for dismissal, unless that anger or fear is acted on in a way that hurts others. Sure, there are a few more conditions, generally the Council tries their hardest to make sure that the Padawans feel comfortable with the transition. But frankly, most Jedi don’t want to try and train someone who grew up outside the Order because it makes an already difficult venture harder.”

Anakin could acknowledge the truth in that. As a Master he recognized that raising a Padawan would be difficult no matter what. He knew he had certainly been a difficult Padawan, but it had likely only been made more difficult trying to navigate the minefield that had been his life before the Temple. “So he tried to meddle, but Obi-Wan refused to let him.” He took a deep breath, that wasn’t too bad, or at least it wasn’t something Anakin hadn’t already known. “What else?”

Quinlan sighed, and looked as though he wasn’t sure he wanted to finish. “You probably already know, but I don’t think you realize you know.”

“Me.” Ahsoka said quietly. “Anakin wasn’t expecting me, but Yoda said that while no Master had chosen me, the Council had decided to assign me to Anakin.”

Quinlan nodded, looking resigned, “You had been chosen though.”

Commander Cody spoke up, “General Kenobi had been expecting a Padawan, the two of us had been going over how to best integrate a Jedi Commander into the 212th.”

“I remember that.” Boil interjected, “Waxer was so excited.” Boil’s voice took on a hint of melancholy, “He had always wanted a Jedi Commander to join the 212th.”

“He was expecting Ahsoka.” Quinlan said quietly.

“I thought he’d just asked for some random Padawan to be sent to him.” Anakin said slowly, because Obi-Wan had certainly made it sound that way.

Quinlan raised an eyebrow, “Does that really sound like Obi-Wan?” 

No, it really didn’t. Obi-Wan was always so careful with his choices, always thinking them through until every part of a decision had been considered. Obi-Wan wouldn’t have just asked for some random Padawan, that was far too personal a decision, too important a choice, to have left in the hands of the Council.

“No.” Anakin admitted. “It really doesn’t.”

“No,” Quinlan agreed, “he had chosen Ahsoka. He’d gone before the Council and announced his intent to ask Ahsoka to accept him as his Master. From what he told me he had intended to ask her before he left for Christophsis, but Yoda sent him out before he could. It was the middle of the War, so Obi-Wan allowed himself to be rushed, but he trusted that Ahsoka would be sent out to him if she accepted him as her Master and when she was ready.”

“But I never had the choice.” Ahsoka said. She seemed to realize how that sounded because she reached out and squeezed his hand. She wasn’t dismissing their time together, just acknowledging the truth of how it had happened.

Quinlan nodded, “Instead Yoda said that you’d been assigned to Anakin. I think Obi-Wan was hoping to work things out after Christophsis, but then the two of you accepted each other and he decided not to push the matter. He thought you were a good fit for each other.” Quinlan scoffed, “He figured it was the Council’s way of saying that they weren’t going to trust him with a new Padawan after his last Padawan went and got married while still a Padawan.”

“Is that why he didn’t ask for another Padawan?” Ahsoka asked quietly.

Quinlan raised an eyebrow, “No, he didn’t ask for another Padawan because he had felt right about you, and he wasn’t going to take another Padawan unless it felt right, and that didn’t happen.” 

How often had Obi-Wan called Ahsoka their Padawan? How hard must it have been for Obi-Wan to step back and let Anakin train her. Anakin would have been so angry if after accepting Ahsoka she had been given to someone else, but Obi-Wan had only ever been supportive. Stepping up only when either Anakin or Ahsoka had needed him to. But then the last thing Quinlan said hit him.

“Wait, back up. They knew I was married?” He knew his voice sounded panicked, and he tried to bring his voice back under control. They couldn’t have known. He tried to remember that the secret was out now, at least in regards to the Order, they couldn’t take Padme away from him.

Quinlan gave him a look that was far too knowing. “It’s hard to say who knew what, but Obi-Wan was trying to find an explanation for why Master Yoda had so clearly manipulated the situation so he couldn’t take Ahsoka as his Padawan.”

“How do you even know all this?” Anakin asked, the words coming out sounding sharp and snappish. It wasn’t fair that Quinlan knew, while Anakin hadn’t known any of this, not really, and he spent far more time with Obi-Wan than Quinlan did.

“I was actually wondering the same thing.” Bant admitted. “I didn’t know that either.”

“What, you don’t think Obi-Wan and I talk?”

“You drive each other insane. All you do is complain about each other.”

Quinlan was quiet for a long moment. “Obi-Wan is my best friend.” He sighed, “And, sure, our friendship might not be the standard friendship, and maybe we don’t broadcast it for just anyone to see, but Obi-Wan was the one who helped me come back both times I struggled with the Dark Side. And it was my quarters that Obi-Wan hid in after Qui-Gon’s death while Anakin was in classes. I was the person he talked to about Satine, both when he was sixteen and when she was killed. And he was the person I turned to when Asajj was killed.” He shrugged, “Maybe it was because, out of everyone, I was the one who understood how he felt and never judged him for it, maybe it’s because for all that everyone calls Obi-Wan the perfect Jedi he’s also the only one who has never judged me for falling short. Sure, he might judge me for falling flat on my face or for saying something stupid, and I might judge him for being a stick in the mud, but those are the judgments of a friend.”

Bant looked somewhat abashed, “I hadn’t realized.”

Anakin felt a little poleaxed. Quinlan? Really? Sure, he’d known that his Master considered him a friend. But his Master also considered Windu a friend, so Anakin took the title with a grain of salt when Obi-Wan used it.

“I think, for the most part we’ve come to terms with Master Yoda’s need to insert himself into the situation when it comes to Obi-Wan’s role as both Master and Padawan.” Padme took control of the conversation, undoubtedly realizing that if Anakin were in charge of the conversation than they’d spend more time figuring out just how good a friend Quinlan was. Anakin was Obi-Wan’s best friend, and Anakin was fighting the need to prove that to Quinlan. After all, it hadn’t been Quinlan that Obi-Wan had said he trusted more than anyone else to fight by his side. “It doesn’t always make sense. But he’s meddled and manipulated situations, and nearly always gotten his way, even if we don’t always know why he felt the need to do so.”

Yoda had supposedly used Obi-Wan to save Qui-Gon. He hadn’t wanted Anakin to be trained at all, because he was too angry, too afraid, too different (he wasn’t! He wasn’t! He was good enough to be a Jedi, he had become one of the greatest of the Jedi, he’d proved them wrong. He had). He gritted his teeth, clenching his fist, he didn’t need to prove himself here, everyone here knew. As for why he’d sent Ahsoka to Anakin rather than allow Obi-Wan to train her, well, that was still unknown.

And sure, it had worked out. Anakin loved Ahsoka. But it left a bitter taste in his mouth that Obi-Wan had been denied a Padawan and never been given a reason, that Ahsoka had been denied the opportunity to be _chosen_ (Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, they had both wanted to be chosen so much, and Master Yoda had denied them both that). He loved Ahsoka, but he hadn’t been fair to her at the beginning of their partnership. Things had gotten better, things had been good. But that didn’t make what Yoda had done right.

“Is there anywhere else where Yoda meddled?” Padme asked.

Quinlan scoffed, “Probably. I mean, Bant and I are sitting here talking to you about something none of you would have thought to ask if Yoda hadn’t said something. But I don’t actually know everything the troll gets up to.”

It said quite a bit that Bant didn’t actually protest this time, instead she was beginning to look shaken by everything that Quinlan said. “Why are you here then, if you think this is another plot?”

Quinlan shrugged, “War changes everything and everybody. Not even Master Yoda is exempt from that. Maybe this is me hoping he’s realized some things need to change.”

Bant seemed heartened by that, but Anakin couldn’t help his snort. As if.

Padme took a deep breath, “In that case, maybe we can shelve Yoda’s meddling for now, and you can clarify what happened on Melida/Daan. I looked into the Senate records, and all I know is that Melida/Daan was in the middle of a century long fight, and that the Senate denied their requests for aid, stating a non-interference position on intraplanetary conflicts.” Anakin wanted to scoff at that, because if anything, the War had proven that the Senate was perfectly willing to interfere in intraplanetary conflicts if that interference got them what they wanted.

“Right.” Bant breathed out, he spine straightening as she met each of their eyes, her gaze piercing in a way Anakin had only ever seen when she was forcing Obi-Wan to go to the Halls of Healing. “After Obi-Wan left for Bandomeer we didn’t hear from him for over a year and a half. None of us even knew he’d been accepted as a Padawan. We all still thought he was in the Agricorps.” She shook her head, “I mean, the Council knew, Master Jinn had to report his decision to them, but none of the rest of us knew.” She took a deep breath, “It, well, when he did return, it took a while for everyone to really understand what had happened. We hadn’t even heard that he’d become a Padawan, much less that he’d been going on missions.”

“Missions?” Anakin clarified, “Isn’t it fairly standard to return to the Temple in between missions? How many could he have been on?”

“Three or four.” Quinlan answered, “Not all of them completely sanctioned, and while they all ended successfully, they were also all unmitigated disasters. He was having nightmares for months after he got back.” Quinlan shook his head, “But no one really cared that he was a nervous wreck, or that he couldn’t keep any food down. People were too busy calling him a failure and a disgrace to the Jedi Order.”

Bant nodded, “And the stress and anxiety weren’t all caused by Melida/Daan, though I think Melida/Daan was the source of the worst of it.”

“But what happened?” He hated the way they were beating around the bush.

Bant sighed, “Senator Amidala mentioned that Melida/Daan was in the middle of a century long fight, that was true, and was the crux of the problem. Neither the Senate nor the Jedi had ever intervened in any way, and they probably would have continued to stay away from the situation if Master Tahl’s ship hadn’t been damaged in one of her missions. She ended up landing on Melida/Daan for some emergency repairs.”

“I take it that didn’t end well.” Echo’s voice was dry and matter of fact. The clones all exchanged knowing glances.

Bant shook her head, “The Melida, one of the main warring factions found her, they accused her of being a spy for the Daan and took her prisoner. During her imprisonment and interrogation she was injured rather grievously. A third faction discovered what the Melida were doing and reached out to the Jedi to tell us what was happening. Master Jinn and Obi-Wan were relatively nearby at the time. Master Jinn and Master Tahl had grown up together and the Council probably thought it would make it easier for Master Jinn to find her through the Force, so they sent him and Obi-Wan to rescue her.”

“Which is probably where things went wrong.” Quinlan muttered.

“They failed?” Boil asked, voice sympathetic.

“No.” Bant shook her head, “They got her out. She was injured and in pain, but she was alive. Master Jinn was incredibly concerned, understandably. What I think Quinlan was saying is that Master Jinn was the one they sent when he was incapable of being objective. Like I said, his actions were understandable, but if he had been more objective then perhaps things would have ended differently. Of course, the same could be said for Obi-Wan in this situation, he wasn’t exactly a picture of objectivity either.”

“See,” Quinlan interrupted, “The Melida and the Daan, they’d been fighting for ages, they were a known quantity. But neither of them had ever reached out to the Senate for help. That request came from a third faction, that until Master Jinn and Obi-Wan arrived, had never been recognized as an actual group. That faction also happened to be made up entirely of children.”

Force. Children.

“Please tell me you mean a group of teenagers.” Commander Cody asked, sounding pained.

Quinlan and Bant exchanged another telling glance. “There were some teenagers, two or three were fourteen, maybe fifteen, at thirteen Obi-Wan was among the oldest, but the majority of them were children. They had some as young as six, though most were between nine and thirteen.”

Echo swore, Padme’s nails dug into his leg, Ahsoka looked pale.

Anakin knew very well that thirteen year olds could be incredibly capable. Ahsoka had been fourteen when she’d made it to the battlefield, Padme had been a queen at fourteen, and there had been other queens who were even younger.

The difference was that they were children operating with the support of those older and more experienced than them. They hadn’t been alone in their positions.

Quinlan continued talking, his words quiet and carefully devoid of emotion. “They were tired of the fighting and the death and the constant destruction. They looked around and saw what the adults were too blinded by hatred to see; that their planet was suffering, their families were being torn apart, their civilization was being destroyed and they wanted it to end. They gathered together, the children from the Melida and the children from the Daan, and begged their parents to stop. But their parents refused. They sent request after request to the Senate for intervention, but they were ignored there too. They decided that the only way to end the war, was to win the war.”

“They called themselves the Young.” Bant explained, “They discovered Tahl during an attempt to raid the Melida’s territory, they were the ones who helped Master Jinn and Obi-Wan stay off of the radar of both factions and the ones to help them save Master Tahl.”

“But once they rescued Master Tahl they begged Master Jinn to stay, to help them end the war. They were scared, and they were dying, and they thought he could save them.” Quinlan looked bitter, “But Master Jinn thought it was more important to save Master Tahl.”

“Was she still in danger?” Padme asked, looking conflicted.

Bant sighed, “There was hope that if she received help in time they would be able to save her sight. It was already too late for that, but there was no way for Master Jinn to know that, and he was desperate to do everything and anything he could to help her. He loved her, you see. And Master Tahl loved Master Jinn as much as he loved her.”

Loved? Bant had said they were friends, but loved? Because that changed things, didn’t it? If Qui-Gon had loved her? “Do you really know that?” Anakin interrupted, “That they loved each other. Obi-Wan might have misunderstood the situation.”

“She became my Master.” Bant said, “We spoke about it at length, the difference between love and attachment, and how Melida/Daan was the first time she had wondered if they’d crossed the line. She was unconscious when they left Melida/Daan and when she found out what had happened she didn’t speak to Master Jinn for eight months. Not until Obi-Wan was back in the Temple.”

“Wait.” Anakin stopped, “What exactly did happen?”

Quinlan shrugged, “Master Jinn refused to stay. Obi-Wan asked if there was anything they could do, any way for them to help, and Master Jinn said no. Obi-Wan was afraid that without help, all of the Young would be killed.”

Bant sighed, “Master Jinn said that it wasn’t their place, that the Senate had given them no approval. He was contradictory that way, one day he’d ignore the Senate and the Council and what anyone else said, he would say that he was following the will of the Force and staying true to his conscience. Then the next he would be using the Senate or the Council to explain and defend his actions.” She sighed, “It was hard on Obi-Wan, he was never sure whether he was supposed to follow his conscience and the will of the Force, or if he was supposed to be exacting in obedience, and if so, who exactly he was supposed to be obeying. He never seemed to get it right, at least not where Master Jinn was concerned.”

“The way he would insist upon an action, despite the danger it might pose not just to him but to those under his care, stating that it was the will of the Force. Yet the next day he would state he could do no more than follow the edicts of the Council.” Padme sounded tired, “That does sound familiar.”

“We’re all hypocrites in some way.” Bant acknowledged, “But in the end, Master Jinn gave Obi-Wan an ultimatum. Obi-Wan could help the Young, or he could be a Jedi.”

No. No. Qui-Gon wouldn’t have left Obi-Wan. He wouldn’t have just walked away. This was Master Qui-Gon, he wouldn’t have done that. He was better. Better than the Council, than the rest of the Jedi. He was the one who actually cared, who wasn’t cold or formal. He wouldn’t have just _left Obi-Wan_.

He wasn’t sure why this felt so much worse. He’d known Obi-Wan had left the Order, and given everything that Bant and Quinlan had said this was the only answer that made sense. Why would it have been better for Obi-Wan to walk away from the Order and join a war zone than for Obi-Wan to have been given an ultimatum and then left behind in a war zone? Wasn’t it the same result? Why did Anakin want to scream at Qui-Gon? Why did this feel like so much more of a betrayal?

“And so he chose to help the Young.” Commander Cody said quietly. “He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself otherwise. Not when they were children.”

Bant nodded. “We didn’t even know. We didn’t know that he had been left alone on a warring planet, or that he had spent eight months fighting for his life. We all thought he was still on Bandomeer. So when Master Jinn finally retrieved him eight months later, and everyone heard that Obi-Wan had been made a Padawan but then had chosen to leave the Order, the majority of the Order judged him harshly.” She made a bitter face, “No one ever asked Master Jinn why he’d left a thirteen year old boy who he’d taken responsibility for on a warring planet without even his lightsaber to protect him.” Bant shook her head disgusted.

But Obi-Wan had chosen to stay, so it wasn’t Master Qui-Gon’s fault. Right?

Would Obi-Wan have left Anakin?

Would Anakin have left Ahsoka?

Quinlan scoffed, “Because none of them cared. No one asked Obi-Wan why he’d left, or what he’d been doing. No one cared that Obi-Wan woke up screaming the names of children. They didn’t care that Obi-Wan had held countless children while they were dying, doing everything he could to ease their pain as they died. No one cared that the Young elected him as one of their war captains, and that those children died following his orders. No one cared that the guilt was tearing him apart. No one cared that despite the odds, despite their extreme disadvantage they were successful. That he and the Young did manage to stop the fighting.”

Bant took over. “They all just said that Obi-Wan obviously didn’t understand what sort of sacrifices being a Jedi required, that he wasn’t loyal enough, or determined enough, that he gave up when things got difficult. Most of us had never left the safety of the Temple while he’d spent eight months surrounded by death and fear. I know the majority of our age mates told him he didn’t deserve to be accepted back into the Jedi, and that he would deserve it if Master Jinn never took him back, that Obi-Wan had failed Master Jinn. No one ever suggested that maybe Master Jinn had failed him.”

“Stop.” Anakin said, he clenched and unclenched his fists. “You can’t just… Qui-Gon wouldn’t… Obi-Wan…” He wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. This was wrong. This wasn’t what Anakin thought he would find. This wasn’t what Anakin wanted to find. He needed to protect Obi-Wan, he wanted to. He just wasn’t prepared for this. Couldn’t accept this, didn’t want to accept this. Qui-Gon was the hero.

The looks everyone else sent him made him close his mouth. Padme mostly seemed annoyed by his interruption. But Ahsoka looked as though she couldn’t understand why he would want to defend someone who had so obviously hurt Obi-Wan, who had abandoned Obi-Wan. Abandoned him the way the Temple had abandoned her. The clones, unsurprisingly, looked equally upset, but then Cody and Boil were Obi-Wan’s men, and Anakin knew that there was no forgiveness from the clones for those who hurt their General. No one would understand Anakin’s confusion, and at the moment, he didn’t think any of them would be particularly sympathetic to Qui-Gon. He’d have to figure out what had happened to Qui-Gon on his own. Qui-Gon was a hero, something had gone wrong at some point, but Qui-Gon was a hero, Anakin needed him to be. He’d already lost Palpatine, who had convinced Anakin that he was a hero when he was anything but, he couldn’t lose Qui-Gon too.

Quinlan ignored him, Quinlan had always ignored him and Anakin suddenly hated Quinlan. “It got worse, of course. Because it always does when Obi-Wan is involved. Bruck died.” Quinlan said quietly. “And everyone blamed Obi-Wan because they’d been fighting when it happened.”

“He was saving me.” Bant continued, quick to defend Obi-Wan, her voice just as quiet as Quinlan’s had been. “The Temple had been infiltrated, and Bruck had been swayed to the infiltrator’s side, had helped him get in, had helped in the endangerment of two clans of younglings. Had told the infiltrator where I was going and what I was doing and was partly responsible for my being grabbed. I was chained to the bottom of one of the pools in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.” She smiled wanly, “I can breathe underwater for a long time, but not forever, and I was running out of time. Bruck had the key, and Obi-Wan was fighting him, trying to get it back. But then, well, Bruck slipped and fell.”

“He was isolated after that. Shunned by the majority of the Jedi.” Quinlan said, looking tired, “Even when Obi-Wan’s name was cleared, even when the Council took him off probation, even when Qui-Gon took him as his Padawan again. Most of the Jedi looked at Melida/Daan and looked at what had happened with Bruck and they said the same thing Qui-Gon had said when he first rejected Obi-Wan. They all told Obi-Wan that he was going to Fall, that he was going to turn.” Quinlan sighed, “So Obi-Wan became the perfect Padawan, and eventually people forgot, or decided that Obi-Wan had learned from his mistakes and turned over a new leaf.” He shook his head, “But Obi-Wan never forgot.”

“The perfect Padawan.” The words came out bitter. Anakin had heard it before, how perfect Obi-Wan had been. He’d never heard about what had happened to make him that way. Had never considered that there might have been something that made him that way. “I never knew.”

“People don’t talk about it.” Bant admitted, “Most of the people who know about it consider it a shameful error on Obi-Wan’s part, one he’s redeemed himself for. They think it would be in poor taste to bring it up. I doubt any of them realize that he’s not ashamed of leaving, he still feels he made the only choice he’d have been able to live with.”

“He’s still banned from ever returning to Melida/Daan though.” Quinlan said, rolling his eyes, “On pain of putting his future with the Jedi in jeopardy.”

“Why?” Boil asked, and Anakin could sense his confusion.

“Because they seem to think that Melida/Daan might be able to convince him to leave the Jedi Order again.” Quinlan scoffed, “And sure, Obi-Wan’s seriously considered it,” he tilted his head thoughtfully, “three times. But none of those have ever had anything to do with Melida/Daan.”

“When else did he consider leaving?” Anakin asked, both curious and dreading the answers. Before this, if anyone had asked him if there was anything that could make Obi-Wan choose to leave the Order he would have said there wasn’t. To know that not only had he, but that he had seriously considered leaving three other times? Anakin’s entire perception of Obi-Wan felt off kilter.

“Three times?” Bant asked, “I only remember the once.”

“Satine.” Quinlan said quietly, “He spent a year protecting her, and they loved each other. They discussed what they could expect from each other and then both decided that their respective duties had to be put first.”

Bant nodded, “I’d forgotten Satine. Or rather, that it had been that serious.” She flinched, looking guilty. “Although given what happened on Mandalore I should have remembered.”

“The second time was when you were a Padawan and you were considering leaving the Order.” Quinlan said, addressing Anakin. Anakin blinked in surprise, he remembered that time period when he wasn’t sure if the Jedi Order was the right place for him. “He felt like he had a responsibility to you, and that if you wanted to leave the Order he would support that, and that he would go with you. He said the galaxy was a dangerous place for a fourteen year old out by himself.”

“I didn’t know that.” Anakin admitted.

“He didn’t want to pressure you either way.” Quinlan said quietly.

Bant nodded, “Having left the Order himself, he felt that that was a decision you had to make by yourself.”

“And the third time?” Padme asked.

Ahsoka twitched next to him as Quinlan’s eyes landed on her. “He offered to leave with Ahsoka.”

Anakin remembered the way Ahsoka had talked around her last conversation with Obi-Wan, the knowledge that Anakin had decided to not acknowledge.

Ahsoka nodded, sending an apologetic look to Commander Cody and Boil who were both now determinedly not looking at any of the rest of them. Anakin didn’t blame them, it hurt to think about the fact that if Obi-Wan had left with Ahsoka he would have been leaving him, there was no doubt that the two clones had made the same connection, that he’d almost left the 212th. “How did you know?” Ahsoka asked Quinlan, curiously. 

Quinlan smirked, “He commed me and told me he was going to offer, he was going to suggest me as his replacement with the 212th and asked me if I would be willing to accept that if the Council went through with it. Then he asked if I would be as annoying and persistent as I could be if the Council didn’t put me with the 212th. He wanted to make sure they would have ended up in better hands than someone like Krell’s. Though I imagine he wouldn’t have been far behind if the 212th had been given to someone like Krell, in order to convince them to change their ways.” He laughed, “He also wanted me to look after Anakin. He was worried Anakin wouldn’t take it well.”

Anakin just buried his head in his hands. He wouldn’t have. Or maybe he would have. Depends on which definition covered leaving the Jedi and chasing Ahsoka and Obi-Wan down. Well, depending on how exactly Obi-Wan would have left and what the Chancellor would have been whispering in his ear at that particular point in time.

So yeah, maybe he would have needed Quinlan around to keep him from doing something he would have regretted. Though, to be fair, Quinlan probably wouldn’t have had much success in stopping him.

“Why did he come back?” Cody asked, and Anakin jerked his head up, because that was a good question. “From Melida/Daan.” Cody clarified when Quinlan just blinked at Cody.

“Because when someone’s been fighting for so long they don’t always know how to stop.” Quinlan sighed, “They stopped the war, and then one of the Young’s leaders, Cerasi, was killed by someone trying to start the fighting back up. The peace they’d achieved was hanging on tether hooks. Obi-Wan knew that if they could get an actual system in place, they’d be able to maintain the peace, but he was thirteen, and not the terrifyingly competent thirteen you and your brothers are. He was a child, surrounded by children who thought he could save them. They wanted peace, but they just didn’t have the knowledge or experience to figure out how to create a government. So Obi-Wan reached out to Yoda and to the Senate and they sent Master Jinn back.” Quinlan sighed, “I don’t know if Obi-Wan asked to come back, or if Master Jinn asked him to. I do know that Obi-Wan thought that if he’d been better trained, better prepared, he would have been able to do more, stop the fighting sooner, save more of the Young.” Quinlan shrugged again, “Obi-Wan always said he came back because he believed his entire purpose for existing is to help people, and he thought that was what it meant to be a Jedi.”

“But you think there was a different reason.” It wasn’t a question, and Commander Cody sounded like he wasn’t looking for an actual answer.

Quinlan was staring at the Commander, eyes assessing, before he smiled, a sharp, pleased smile. “I said it before and I’ll say it again. It’s no wonder you and Obi-Wan get along.” Then his smile widened into a brazen, cocky grin. “But I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

It was a lie and everyone knew it, but despite Anakin’s demands Quinlan seemed to have decided he was done sharing for the day and Cody was unwilling to share whatever his suspicion was. It was Padme who finally stopped the argument.

“I think we’ve learned enough for the day. Maybe some time to think it over will help us find our own answers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope that you enjoyed this new chapter!
> 
> Once again, all of my thanks to the wonderful Lys who helped this chapter be better than it was. She deserves all the praise.
> 
> As I said in the notes at the top, school is starting soon and given the givens things will probably get hectic. Of course updates will happen, but the when and the what of it is, as always, up in the air.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


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